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04 March 2011 @ 09:48 pm
Critique my bio  
I need some outsider's opinion, as I am not very objective. This is what I sent recently, but I did so in haste. I have to send out more of these, and I want to tighten this up a bit. This wold be attached to my short stories, convention bios, and blurbs for my publisher.

Grig "Punkie" Larson has been writing for over 25 years, and been a staple in DC/Baltimore science fiction and anime fandom for as long as he admits to remembering. Best know as the author of "The Saga of Punk Walrus" series of works, he has also been featured in the literary magazine, "Gateways," was a head writer for the comedy group, "Prune Bran," and has had oddball writing jobs in the tech and film industry. Grig is currently working for the science fiction Balticon Podcast and is Co-Chairman for the anime venue, Katsucon Entertainment. He has also been a guest author, panelist, and moderator at many conventions, but is best known for his emcee work. He currently lives in Northern Virginia, where he promotes Open Source, Linux, geekery, art, and general fannish shenanigans with his inspiration and wife Christine, their son Christopher, and the usual gang of cats authors seem to collect. More information on his works and conventions he tours can be found at http://punkadyne.info
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gypsy_sylvingypsy_sylvin on March 5th, 2011 03:18 am (UTC)
I can't vouch for content, but your punctuation needs some work (if you're looking for an editor). And don't you have a fellow author living in your house? Maybe she can offer some assistance on the content side.
maugornmaugorn on March 5th, 2011 03:43 pm (UTC)
2nd sentence typo:

Best know_

should be known.

Also- personally I prefer not to have phrases repeat alot, so I would substitute
"_better_ known for his emcee work" or something like that.
You're already "best known" as the author of _Punk Walrus_.
Bureinatobureinato on March 6th, 2011 06:35 pm (UTC)
I'd suggest having a different blurb for published works than for conventions. When I look at author blurbs I'm interested in finding out gender/location/credentials, but not details of their hobbies. Of course I could just be weird. Something more like:

Grig "Punkie" Larson has been writing for over 25 years, and been a staple in DC/Baltimore SF and anime fandom for as long as he admits to remembering. Best know for the "The Saga of Punk Walrus" series of works, he has also been featured in the literary magazine, "Gateways," was a head writer for the comedy group, "Prune Bran," and has had oddball writing jobs in the tech and film industry. He currently lives in Northern Virginia, where he promotes Open Source, Linux, geekery, art, and general fannish shenanigans with his inspiration and wife Christine, their son Christopher, and the usual gang of cats authors seem to collect. More information on his works and conventions he tours can be found at http://punkadyne.info

The details of which cons you're involved with can be looked up via the website if someone really cares, but in a non-con blurb most folks won't need/want to know.
Bureinatobureinato on March 6th, 2011 06:43 pm (UTC)
Additional thought, replace name of comedy group with "a head writer for a local comedy group, and has had oddball...

Outside of your region, who has heard of prune bran? I think you're better off dropping names if they're nationally known, but not regional.
DP Twisteddptwisted on March 8th, 2011 11:45 pm (UTC)
Wait...Prune Bran isn't world famous? I'm calling my agent right now.
punkwalruspunkwalrus on March 9th, 2011 02:39 pm (UTC)
You told me we would get the fame, cars, and luxury items, Rick. I'M STILL WAITING!!!