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02 June 2011 @ 09:53 am
I present to you... Cosplay Paradise  
I thought of this and half wrote it at Balticon before finishing it last night... please forgive me. This is done to the song of Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise," which was kind of hard to parody because he is really liberal with rhyming and pentameter.

Cosplay Paradise
by Grig "Punkie Larson

You want to tell me what this is all about?

As I walk through the hallways of the convention floor
I take a look at my life and realize I could have added more
Cause I've been sewin' and gluin' so long that
Even my sensei thinks that my mind is gone
But I ain't never copied a manga that didn't deserve it
Me, passively watching anime, you know that's unheard of
You better watch how you tressin, and where you confessin
Or you and your kimono might be called a bathroom dress
I really hate to paint, but I gotta color-
Can't get matching fabric to match this pleather, fool
I'm the stage spotlight the little kiddies wanna be like
On my knees in the night
Sewing ribbons in the computer monitor light

Been spending most my life living in a Cosplay Paradise
Cutting threads with pocket knives living in the Cosplay Paradise
Keep spending most my life living in the Cosplay Paradise
Wish I had a job to support my strife living in the Cosplay Paradise

My mom says I'm a basket case and move out from the basement
I can't live a normal life, I watch half of TV on freeze frame
Just to see how he attaches that hood, see
And how the weapon's attached to the head piece
I'm an educated fool, Japanese on my mind
Got a Fiskars in my hand, and steampunk goggles over my eyes
I scoped out a cosplay judge, bribed him with some Pocky
In this line of work, I can't afford to get cocky, fool
Second place ain't nothing but a wrong trim away
I'm living my life first place or die, what can I say?
I'm twenty-three now, will I have to get a job at twenty-fow'?
The way things are goin' I don't know

Tell me why are we, attending this convention?
That costs so much, and gives me hypertension?

Been spending most my life living in a Cosplay Paradise
I'll never get me a wife living in the Cosplay Paradise
Keep spending most my life living in the Cosplay Paradise
I'll die of pain and strife living in a Cosplay Paradise

Leather and the fabric, fabric and the leather
Rivets and the zippers, holding it all together
Everybody's running, but half of them ain't qualified
What's going on in the green room, is that bonifide?
They say I gotta go up stairs, but nobody's here to teach me
If they can't support my hoop skirt, how can they reach me?
I guess they can't, I guess they won't
I guess I'll fall on the stage, and hope to win the stunt category, fool

Been spending most their lives, living in the Cosplay Paradise
Wearing dresses that look like beehives, living in the Cosplay Paradise
Darth Vader chests made from old disk drives, living in the Cosplay Paradise
I really hope I survive, living in the Cosplay Paradise

Tell me why are we, so blind to turn
Steampunk that was never worn by Jules Verne
Tell me why are we, so blind to turn
Steampunk that was never worn by Jules Verne...
(fade out)
 
 
 
feyandstrange on June 2nd, 2011 10:22 pm (UTC)
*snickers*

I just got back from my first anime con. Oh yeah. May I repost with credit?
feyandstrange on June 2nd, 2011 10:23 pm (UTC)
or duh, I'll link to your post.
Michael W. Griffithgeckoman on June 2nd, 2011 11:44 pm (UTC)
"This is done to the song of Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise," which was kind of hard to parody because he is really liberal with rhyming and pentameter." Which in turn is a 'homage' of Stevie Wonder's 'Pastime Paradise' from the 1976 album 'Songs in the Key of Life.'

I don't know why Weird Al just didn't go to the original for permission...

punkwalruspunkwalrus on June 3rd, 2011 12:37 pm (UTC)
Today I learned...