I'm not sure that "trained to kill" means in this context. That will affect the answer.

Of course, no weapons allowed means we're all fighting bare-handed, and they have fairly immature musculature in addition to being shorter -- head shots will be easy for me to dish out but not so much for them. How many I can take down will depend on how long I can stay on my feet with intact knees; this in turn is affected by just what training they've got.

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My first question to establish a strategy would be.

Are they attacking all at once like what would most likely happen if it were really to happen... or will it be exactly a steady stream of them all attacking me one at a time like many a Japanese Kung-Fu movie would show it?

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From what you have written they are coming in as a mass wave.
You are however, wrong, I do have a weapon. The club (the first child that reaches me) can be used in a swaying motion of the club is used to knock over the next part of the wave., This should cause the wave to slow down, if not stop while they are trying to get around their fallen comrades. As I am swinging I would be moving backwards trying to get ground between then and I. I would make sure to check my 6 o’clock position to make sure there are no surprises. I would continue this action using anything at hand to slow them down. This would include:

Furniture
Books
Dishes
Shopping Carts
Fire extinguishers (Spry them if it is full or use it as a bowling ball if empty)
Any every day object to get into their path to slow them down.

If I am luck enough to find a Barney Doll or even better some poor SOB in a Barney Suit I would throw it or him / her into the mist and probably watch as no human can turn away at such carnage.

I would also be looking for a weapon of opportunity that could include a baseball bat, golf club or even better a hockey stick to keep the swarm from getting too close to me. The reason is the club I would be using (the aforementioned child) would not last long.

All this time I would be looking for an avenue of escape. Using the delaying tactics would give me greater opportunity to find a better location, weapons, or a way to escape.

Now if or when I got completely surrounded the use of the wave against itself would be my only hope. One of the things that are taught to defensive linemen in football is call the swim maneuver. It is designed to get the defensive linemen past the offensive line to get into the back field and nail the quarterback. This same tactic can be used to get through a mob of people / children bent on killing you. In “The book of survival written in 1969” in the chapter entitled “Too Crowded” it talks about another technique for moving a wave of bodies away from you. This works better if you are a smaller person then the swim method. Since I am not a small person I would use the swim method to push, punch through one side of the encirclement and as I do so, I would make sure that every little body that is trying to kill me that I come in contact with would be pushed into another body causing the wave to hopefully crash so I can make my escape.

If your life is at stake, fight Like Hell!

K

P.S. I would endeavor to avoid such a wave of blood thirsty murders at all costs. So any prior intel would have me seeking other avenues of escape or at least getting equipped to deal with the wave. Fire Hoses, Fire and Large objects are your friend.

P.S.S. THis is a sick question :)

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I am too crippled these days to last long, but I fight dirty. Also, would attempt psychological warfare to get them to fight each other.

Do I have my powerchair? Or a cane? They can be used as weapons, but without a support device I wouldn't last past two.

First one I maim or kill gets used as a shield/weapon vs. the rest.

I'm having a Barbarella moment now.

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You'd get swarmed pretty fast, with lots of them hanging off you if you couldn't keep them out of reach. Being able to stay on your feet will be the key. Can't really use one for a club, the human body is awful soggy. Be like hitting them with a pork tenderloin. No clue as to how many really, but it would be interesting.

What kicks your butt on the pizza? The sauce, cheese, crust or the grease? Just wanna know in case you get invited over here and that's what I'm making.

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Not sure yet. I think it's the combination, with a heavier accent on the dairy.

... but a pizza without cheese might as well not be made... :(

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Well, you can do lighter, lower fat cheeses, and less of it. Boost the flavors with fresh basil, bold flavors like pepperoni and strongly flavored cheese. It's all sorts of transformable.

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This actually happened to Paul on Thursday, I kid you not. Well, basically.

He teaches Karate & Kung Fu, and his class of peewee kids (all white belts and yellow belts, so they are pretty close to the basic definition you listed above) were instructed to come at him and beat him up, one at a time, so they could try their first time at sparring.

He took down all 20 easily. Paul's personal estimate of how many he could take down before becoming too tired or overcome? At least 200. He does have the advantage of double black belt Karate & Kung Fu, 20 years worth of martial arts, and 15 years of teaching 5-year-olds.

Personally, I could probably withstand a dozen or two, at best.

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