That makes me sad.

I don't remember who first told me this, but I suspect it was on one of Nancy's buttons:

"When you throw something away, where is 'away?'"

Febreze is one of those new products that I think about with this phrase. "Locks away odors," it will say. "Eliminates odors in the air, rather than just covering them up." Okay... so what happens to them, then? I decided to look it up. Wikipedia says:

"The product's active ingredient, cyclodextrin, is a type of modified starch having a shape similar to a donut. The molecule binds or entraps various hydrophobic compounds within the donut shape. In this way, malodorous molecules are retained so that they are no longer detected as a scent."

So the odors don't really "go away," they sort of mask the scent so we can't detect it, rather than overpower it with a stronger smell. Like putting that bad odor in a nice hat, or more like putting it in an attractive inner tube pool toy.

"That's not cat pee, that's ... er... happy fun lucky yellow ringu! KAWAII!"

I wonder if that would work on other things? This is where I need my readers. I want you to take any spare inflatable pool toys and put them all over things you don't like: hole in the drywall, ugly bush in the yard, a coworker. See if it makes it better, or any less noticeable.

I expect photos as evidence.

Come on, it's my birthday week! Chop chop!