| NOT YUO COOK-EH!!!1! |
[Apr. 9th, 2008|02:57 pm] |
Today, I was reminded of an incident that happened to me around 2000-2001 when I worked at AOL. I was still working for International Wardialing with ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) stodgycat, and we worked out of an office that was close to a large meeting room.
Let me just tangent here for a rant long corked up and now useless. Finding meeting rooms in the old AOL Reston offices was terrible!! The offices all had addresses that 80% of the time were found by following in order, like 1H01 would be near 1H03, for instance. But the meeting rooms all had names of artists, like "Picasso" or "Rembrandt." Plus, the meeting rooms were scattered about the floor plan in random sizes and shapes, so they were almost impossible to find. I HATED THEM!!
Anyway, I was near "Picasso," I think. Picasso was one of the meeting rooms built like a bubble outside our stone walls, and was one of the larger ones. Thus, bigger meetings and occasional training sessions were held there. That meant that a lot of them were catered by SoDexHo, our caterer, famous for being part of the Marriott Corporation.
One day, early in the morning, I passed by a large cart of food outside the meeting room. That wasn't so unusual. But there was no meeting within. About two hours had gone by, and I passed this cart several times. Alone. Abandoned. With a HUGE tray of cookies in a rather sparsely traveled hallway.
Temptation got the best of me, and on the fifth pass, I swiped a soft chocolate chip cookie.
I swear I never saw her. But within seconds, and I mean I had just put the cookie in my mouth from picking it up, this harpy came out of nowhere and started screaming at me, like, "Hey. HEY!!" I suddenly found myself face to face with a woman who couldn't have been more than five feet tall and a few inches. She was wearing a blue blazer, and had a short-cropped haircut that coated her head like a black pineapple skin.
I don't recall exactly what she said, but it was a furious dressing down that boiled down to, "NOT YUO COOK-EH!!!"
This is the best part, though. She held out a napkin, and made me spit out the cookie in my mouth into the napkin, and hand her back the rest of the cookie. I complied without question, I think out of shock more than anything else, but a perverse part of be asked, "Is she really asking me to spit out a cookie into her napkin like a toddler caught eating a bug?"
I meekly apologized. After all, I did steal a cookie that was not mine. But I got kind of mad and passive agressive when the shock wore off. I felt her screaming and making me spit out the cookie was really over-dramatic. So I said I'd gladly pay her 50 cents for the cookie, since obviously she was on a tight budget.
Oh no, she wasn't having that. Not only did I not get my dishonestly gained cookie returned, she took out a pen and wrote on a napkin, demanding to know my name (which she read off my badge), and wanted to know the name and e-mail address of my supervisor. So I gave it to her. I even told her what his office number was, and when he'd be in today. I again offered to pay for the cookie, and she then said I'd pay for the cookie, alright. But she'd have it docked from my pay. And it wasn't 50 cents she'd dock. Oh no, it was... A WHOLE DOLLAR!!! I couldn't help but laugh, because she was totally serious. And that didn't help.
Me: You... you actually asked me to spit out the cookie into a napkin you are now holding. Does this seem a little dramatic? Can I just give you a dollar and have the uneaten cookie back?
Her: You act like a child and steal food, you will be treated like a child and punished as one.
Me: Uh... heh. 'Fair 'nuff, I suppose. [snort]
Her: Your boss, Mr. Dennis Saylor, will hear about THIS! Then you won't find it so funny!
She got even angrier that I wasn't... I guess reacting respectably. I just went back to my office, a little angry, but also laughing because it seemed so over the top.
Later in the day, I met my boss, and told him about it. He also laughed, and said the uneaten food was later left in the kitchen, and there were still cookies left.
"But if they call me, I'll tell them I fired you over it, how's that? That will make her happy. Clean out your desk, you cookie monster! Hah."
Dennis was one of the best bosses I have ever had. Nothing got to that guy, and he was always joking around. And always had your back.
We joked about it for a while after that. Dennis would joke I had to give HIM the dollar all the time. He told me no one ever called him over it, so we're not sure what happened. I don't know who it was, I think she worked for SoDexHo, and was not an AOL employee. |
|
|
