| On pet deaths |
[May. 19th, 2008|04:44 pm] |
Ahfu is still under watch as I write this, but I could help thinking about his face, twisted in resigned pain, as I kissed him goodbye this morning. His legs were trembling and he gasped when he moved. I hoped they'd either fix what's wrong with him, or let him go.
It reminds me of three years ago. We found Artoo sick right after Katsucon on Feb. 21st, and he was put to sleep on the 28th. Massive kidney failure, could have happened to any older cat.
You know I still have his box of ashes on the nightstand next to my bed? He acts as a pedestal for the clock radio. I put him there because I miss him terribly and also because he used to love to sit under the bedlamp to warm himself. I remember when I took that box home about a week after he was put to sleep. ALL the other cats knew it was his ashes. The same with Oreo, who sits next to our TV. Or on a dresser. I'd better check on his location...
But I still miss Artoo. I guess after 3 years, am pretty pathetic to still hang on to the ashes of a stupid old cat. But he stood by me for 13 years, I can't just dump him, even if he did barf a lot. My former boss would mock my sentimentality, I am sure, but I purged him from my life like carefully cleaning up a crime scene. I only mention that boss because at the same time this all happened, I busted my foot and work was HELL because of him. Like a triple whammy. It was actually the "so your cat died, you want a medal?" mentality that really pushed me to leave that job. Man, that was insanity. I have shut it all out so much, that when I read the entries three years later, it was almost like it had happened to another person. But the whole time, I mourned Artoo more than my stupid foot or a job gone all wrong. My foot healed fine, I got a much better job... but I still have no Artoo.
I haven't given up on Ahfu, because the news was better than we expected. We're allowed to take him home tomorrow night because they think his neck got injured. Possibly a disk, because that's the only thing that he even acts like hurts when they examine him. At least it's not a blood clot or his organs are all twisted up. I don't know how we are going to keep him from jumping on the couch or using stairs for the next few weeks. |
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| Comments: |
From: ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) wolfdancer
2008-05-19 10:02 pm (UTC)
I am hoping good things. | (Link)
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Hugs. I know how scary it is. How sad to have a pet in pain. They can not tell us what is wrong.
Hugs and comfort.
I hope that things get better soon for both of you. I hope that you are able to make it to Balticon.
There is nothing pathetic about keeping your pet's ashes. i have Nemo's ashes and she died six years ago. i don't think you ever had the pleasure of meeting her, and that makes me sad cause she really loved people. So just stop that.
Some people don't understand the connection that others have with animals, and i'm sorry for those people. We've had parrots that have been wonderful companions. Nemo was my child, and i still miss her.
i hope that Ahfu pulls through, my thoughts are with you. **hugs**
were some people never understand - some of us do - these animals are part of our families, not a possession. It's not like the picture tube went on your tv or something (though some people see it that way)
I remember all my pets animal companions - they are family - they are part of our lives for years - they have feelings, they are intelligent, they know when we are upset or happy
::hugs:: Some pets just click with you, and stay with you long after they are gone. I still have Zimba's pictures in frames all over, and her memorial box with some ashes sits just under my alter by my bedside. I have switched one picture out to one of Athena, but well, her slobbery face is up close and personal on a regular basis.
We treasure Nazareth's ashes. They are inside a beautiful cherrywood container, inside a white cardboard box, on my shelf. I have never had the courage to open the carboard box, wouldn't be able to handle it. That box sat in my car in a bag for weeks, I couldn't even face bringing her into the house because the loss would be too great. I am crying even as I write this. After about 2 days of no toenails on the floor, we couldnt' take it any longer, and Basker stopped being a pound puppy and became a couch pooch. When his time comes, it will be more that we can bear. Our thoughts are with you. | |
