This is not a rant, but my attempt at comedy. I think it came out too preachy.

http://apeyanne.livejournal.com/193418.html

How would you have made this funny? Do you understand why I thought this concept was comedic, and perhaps what I've done wrong/why I couldn't pull it off?

I don't yet understand comedic writing yet, but I want to learn. Teach me, oh Yoda of teh funneh.

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Disclaimer: I am not an official judge of anything. Comedy is subjective. I may be full of shit at any time.

Honestly, I don't find much wrong with it, and I am not saying that because I fear you may react badly to criticism (you might, but I feel if you asked for my critique, you want honesty). Maybe you think it was bad because you missed some goal I don't see. The only thing I missed was the connection between the underwear and the stock market crash. The piece about the underwear itself was funny. Here's what I constructed as "right" about the piece.

1. It starts out fairly serious, coming off like a Town and Country Magazine article speaking about fall leaves. Then it takes a radical turn to "underwear" which is funny in itself. The core to comedy is the unexpected, and you made it double hit with the low-brow underwear reference. Suddenly, I expected it to be live Dave Barry. Then you spoke as if you were a slightly demented and out of touch underwear model, which built up the comedy, and gave it another unexpected twist from Dave Barry to Derek Zoolander.
2. Particular elements of the "twist" you used was naming the chihuahua "T-Rex," which is like naming him "Cujo," or your Rottweiler, "Muffin."

That's my initial thoughts.

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I think I would enjoy this. After a disastrous attempt a college seven years ago and subsequent years spent in menial jobs I'd rather forget I'm back at school. I don't know how to write this without making it whiny emo save it for facebook bullshit. But I just want to scream at 80 percent of the student body. I'm finding out how big a difference there is between being 25 and being 18. I hate feeling embarassed that I'm the first to raise my hand or that I'm the only one who actually wants to be in class. Nobody makes you go to college if you want to fritter your life away in pursuit of boys' cell phone numbers and finding someone to buy you alcohol be my guest. Just keep your old navy sundress clad ass out of my way bitch. So yeah I would be going for mildly suggestive, delightfully saucy even. And fuck The Jonas Brothers.

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*ding*!

Hope you like it! :)

http://punkwalrus.livejournal.com/862691.html

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Nick (a roomie) and I were going out to find Sean a strawberry topped funnel cake this past weekend. Unfortunately we failed, but we were narrating our trek in a nature/adventure style...it was quite funny.

I would actually like to have the time to write about it, and think it would be great for Nanowrimo, but I am too swamped with research papers to take it on.

I'm letting Nick read my copy of Punk Walrus, and he loves it. Say's it's like Stephen King and Douglas Adams being put into a blender and smashed together. He'd really like to meet you at some point.

To that end, when do you have a free weekend day?

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You don't give me much to go by, does that mean you want me to totally make it up? And which Sean is this? is it a Sean I know?

I don't mind making it up, but when I write fiction about a real person, I risk insulting them. Tell me about Nick, or else I may be WAY off base about him.

Edited at 2008-10-07 11:47 pm (UTC)

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sean is my husband, aka greywolfmd or unitzero on here.

Nick is a washed up community college student living on our couch cause he got kicked out of his families home, and I'm soft-hearted (or stupid) enough to not want a friend out on the street. Hasn't been able to find a job.

Good kid, but needs to sort his life out.


"We trekked across the endless savannah, battling killer bees....the only way we escaped was to challenge them to a game of chess, which they promptly lost due to a lack of hands. Therefore, victory!"

We actually found a funnel cake, but not with fruit topping. *sigh*

But it was fun making up stuff as we went along.

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I think this would be funnier if Sean was me

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