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The story of Joey's Tantrum [Aug. 17th, 2009|02:37 pm]
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So, when CR was about 4-6, he had a daycare sitter named Phyllis. She was... okay. I mean, she was nice, and she was cheap and off the record, so to speak. We were poor, so we appreciated the cheapness. Her $60/wk cash-only was a lot cheaper than the $200+/wk the official places wanted. Her day care was rather substandard, but we had to work, so... I hate saying anything bad about her personally. However, I only say this because it may prevent you form asking questions about how I got into this situation in this story.

I came to pick up CR from daycare, which was literally only 3 doors down from my little hole in the projects. CR had this best friend named "Markie," a middle child who came from a family where he had two bothers: younger Joey and older Eric. Markie was "the good kid" in the sense he seemed quiet and shell-shocked half the time. Joey was an insufferable spoiled brat, and Eric was "the bad seed" from a previous marriage. Their mom was a skittish woman who looked a nervous Carly Simon.

I cant recall where Phyllis was, but Markie's mom was there, and asked if I minded watching her three boys and the little girl there who was waiting for her mom to show up. "I'll only be a minute," she said. That turned out to be half an hour.

Once Markie's mom was gone, the kids ran around this tiny apartment, giddy out of their gourds that some new clueless dad was in charge. Joey (about 3) demanded a brownie, but everyone told him the brownies were not for him, but for some event later on. Joey started to cry, and Eric said, "Can he have one, he's going to scream if he doesn't." I said the brownies were not mine to give, so no. Well, Joey started to scream.

I remember the little girl dramatically covered her ears in terror.

"See?" said Eric. "He always does that, and won't stop until he gets one."

I told him I'd wait and see. I told Joey we started an impromptu screaming contest, and he was losing because he wasn't loud enough. He screamed louder. The kids giggled. I said, "can you try it louder, but in a deeper voice, like raaaawwww...?" His brothers lost it. The little girl, confused, started going, "Raaawww!!" So I said she won, and I would give her a quarter. She was thrilled.

Joey was not. He screamed and screamed and I knelt in front of him and said, "You'll have to scream louder, I can't hear you over all this screaming." My son was hysterical. So Joey changed his tactic, ran into the kitchen, grabbed a brownie and started cramming it into his mouth with a "see?? Loser!" look on his face.

The little girl gasped, and repeated in a shocked voice that trailed off to a submissive protest, "Phyllis said those brownies are not for us..."

So I went up to Joey, chased him, forced open his mouth, and took the brownie out. I then tossed the goopy mass in the sink. Yeah, I didn't care. Parenting will do that, you'll even scoop up vomit with your hands.

His response was sheer stunned surprise. Like the gasp before a rich woman screams, "How DARE you!!!" Even his older brother went, "Oh my god..." Then, a few seconds later, when his emotions came back on line, he hit the floor and had a full-out, floor-beating, leg-kicking, screaming into the rug, tantrum. He wasn't upset, he was furious. Enraged, he screamed into the rug as high as he could wit the most ferocity his little body could muster. If he had been bombarded with gamma radiation he would have been the Hulk.

But I would have none of it. I did nothing. I just let him. But eventually I talked to him. "What are you doing on the floor?" I asked, as if I had NO idea and was somewhat mystified and entranced by the event. "I can't hear you scream when you do that... you're eating the CARPET, aren't you??" His brothers, my son, and the little girl were all laughing. "Does the carpet taste good? You all right? Normally you're standing when you're screaming, is this a new technique?" He screamed so loud, his face went red, and he started to cough and gag. He'd pause, swallow, and go back to his tantrum. "Let me know when you're done, but I still say this little girl here gets the quarter..."

His brothers kept going with the "he's sucking the CARPET" gag because little kids love to repeat a joke over and over. Finally, Joey calmed down, got up, and sat down. He looked devastated. He was spent like a cheap Chinese firework, he had NOTHING left in him. Shell shocked.

"No one ever said 'no' to him before," Eric whispered to me. "He doesn't know what to do."

Finally, his mom came back, and I told her what occurred. She nodded with a shallow and nervous humor. "Oh no... hahaha... oh my gosh, no way... oh no... hahaha." She acted as if I told her that her son spelled a glass of water on his pants or something.

"Can I have my quarter, now?" asked the girl.
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So how was your Friday? I was in an ER [Jan. 3rd, 2009|11:06 pm]
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So Anya and Brian get back from being in Germany for a week. After sleeping off a lot of jet lag, they want to meet with us ([info]takayla and I) for a late lunch, so we all go to the Red Robin. They proceed to tell us tales of castles, Roman baths, bars, stealing knick knacks, and the gestapo (as in WW2 Nazi, not US Customs). People in Germany love the fact we voted for Obama, but the way. [info]takayla and I decided we're going with them next time because Anya's family would let us stay in a condo for free.

I get a phone call from CR, who actually charged his cell phone long enough to ask to speak to his mother. I hand her the phone, and he tells her that the headache he's had for the last three days has worsened started to evolve into a nosebleed. The pain, apparently, is incredible. The doctor's office didn't have any appointments free, and said he could top by Saturday which they stay open "for emergencies only." This wasn't good enough, so CR went to the emergency room.

I stayed with Anya and Brian, and we went to Starbucks waiting to hear the news. When it took too long to get CR back to the ER, we decided to accelerate things. Now keep in mind, CR was not exactly in some critical condition, so they were in the waiting room for a long time. Starbucks customers all asked about him, and if became apparent that CR is REALLY liked by employees and customers. So finally, ALL of us decided to go to the hospital, despite the fact [info]takayla said I didn't need to, and it was chaos.

How we got tossed out of the ER Part 1And with chaos comes humor. By the time we got there, CR was taken back to room #23, so all three of us went back there. And got bored. When CR was little, I inflated a glove as a balloon for him. He was in the ER a lot for his asthma, so it became a kind of ritual. By now we were all a little silly. Soon, we became VERY silly. All of us were laughing, partially out of stress, then out of boredom. I was sent out of the room when CR got his IV for his pain meds because I just couldn't stop laughing and CR was laughing because I was.

This devolved into a kind of glove balloon badminton game. And graffiti on their whiteboards. And Anya started playing with the ear and eye light thingees. Brian later said it was the best time he had in an ER ever.

This all came handy in keeping CR's spirits up. He got tested, a CAT scan, and other tests. His blood pressure was *normal* (which was a surprise), his CAT scan came out clean, and after all the other blood tests, all they could figure was migraines. But they did want to call it a migraine from one event. But our family has a history of them, he responded immediately to migraine medicine, and so he has a followup with the doctor next week.

So that was Friday. :(
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CR! Rock on! [Aug. 8th, 2008|09:26 am]
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No longer a high school go-gaggu-wa

Ray Romano has this bit where his mother tells him to complete college. When he asks why, she says, "So you can say you're a college graduate." You mean I can't say that now? "I am a college gajjeet! A ko-kakka go-gaggu-wa! Dammit! Three credits and I could have had it!"

So CR, after 18 years of moderate childhood angst, has made it my education level. I mean, yeah, I also got scattered college credits, but they don't count. He is a full graduate of Chantilly High School, even though he had to finish it in the summer.

Sappy memories and other stuff )

Congratulations CR! I am so proud of you, and I love you very, very, very much!

In other news, [info]aksident, whom wanted to be with us, and we wanted her as well, could not attend because she was doing volleyball tryouts at her school. Good thing, because she not only MADE THE TEAM but was ONE OF ONLY TWO FRESHMEN picked for the JV team! Usually they only pick Juniors and Sophomores if they are lucky. But she's always been skilled and competetive, and I wouldn't be surprised to see her at the 2012 Olympics.
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Pool Party Today [Jul. 19th, 2008|11:30 am]
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So, some friends of mine are having a pool party today, and graciously wanted to host CR's "public" 18th birthday party. Every year I can go, I go down to the Dollar Store or Five Below, and spend $20-30 on some assorted pool toys. Usually cheap squirt guns, some float-able toys like sharks, boats, and whatnot. I share them with everyone who comes, which is a crowd of about 20-25 people. And I did that again this year.

But I also wanted to bring my two bubble machines. I wanted to make sure they still worked, so I tested them this morning. Well, my multi-bubble machine (like Lawrence Welk was famous for) is busted. The pump isn't strong enough to get the bubbles up in the rings and fan, and I don't know why. I think the motor has problems because it's also a lot louder than I remember. I guess I could take it apart and try and fix it, but I don't have time.

The "large bubble maker" does work, which is good. If I had to choose between the two, that was the one I wanted to work. Instead of hundreds of small bubbles, it releases a few BIG ones each pass, and that's pretty cool to watch.

And really, how often do I get to use bubble machines in my life? Not enough, I tell you.
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CR's last few days as a teenager [Jul. 17th, 2008|10:30 pm]
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I guess you could call 18 and 19 "teens," if those "barely legal" sites are to be believed, but in my mind, being a teenager is 13 - 17, and then you are legally an adult. [info]apeyanne tells me that the brain stops growing at 25 or so, which explains the behavior of me an my friends in Prune Bran. Haw.

But this post isn't about how I am throwing away his sailor suit and huge striped lollipop, but some good news in the fact he got a job again! He used to work at Five Below for a week, but they he got real sick last year. They said he could come back whenever, but then the entire chain started to go down the tubes. So now my son will work for a giant multi-national corporation as a barista!

And you can probably guess where. Rhymes with war bucks.

So if you are in Greenbriar some weekday evenings, come stop by and see CR in his first adult job.

I am very proud of him.
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Stayed home today [Jun. 12th, 2008|08:20 pm]
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I worked from home today because I felt so bad when I woke up, I could barely walk to pee. My ankle was swollen, and my joints hurt, and I just went back to bed hoping I was hallucinating. I thought, "Yeah, I'd better see a doctor about this, this isn't normal."

But apparently, I just needed to spend time in bed. I feel lots better.

Things are still on track with CR's graduation in August. Assuming he finishes his one missing school credit this summer, he'll still be a 2008 graduate. His health is a lot better overall, and we think he'll be working at Starbucks down the road as his second job (his first was at "5 Below," when he got really sick). He becomes legally an adult in a little over a month. It seems only recently we celebrated his 10th birthday. And not long before, he was by my side in the woods of Reston, picking up leaves, and handing them to me. Most of my friends are childless, or have kids that are pretty young still. It is my hope that those who do have little kids that you spend time with them as I tried to, telling them what you do, what your ancestors did, and how to tell right from wrong. You'll wish you had more of those when your kids get older, which will happen so much faster than you realize. For those of you who do not have kids, or do not wish to, find a friend who does, and sneak them cookies.

[info]djkangal posted in his journal about people who haven't grown up in 20 years. When I was a teenager, my life was so messed up, I felt the only way to get a handle on anything was to be true to myself first, and work my way outwards. Thus, I don't have many regrets of my own behavior in the last 20 years. I didn't do everything right, of course. In fact, I screwed a few things up pretty badly, but I plead ignorance on most of them and hope I learned something. But I agree with Mr. Kangal on some people still living a conscience-free existence, where nothing is ever their fault, and they are not responsible for their own direction in life.

With CR, I hope I have accomplished teaching him self-responsibility somewhat. Like most parents, I am not 100% confident I did everything right, and have now seen where I got some things wrong, ignorance or not. I am not sure what the future holds for this new adult about to be released into the world, but I hope that he'll make lots of friends like I have, and they are as tolerant of him as my friend have been of me. I have really been blessed to have the friends I do. As I face 40 this year, I kind of hope that when I reach 62, I won't look at my son at 40 and go, "Dammit! What the hell are you doing??" I hope whatever he does for a living, which will probably be technical because the Larson side of the family can't seem to get away from technology (and before that, carpentry), I hope he enjoys like I currently enjoy the technical field. But I also hope he gets married, has children, and passes on some of what I learned from my previous 20 years, plus any more years, so when I am gone, my immortality passes on as my grandparents and their grandparents before me. It it for this reason I always try to be honorable and true to myself.

"Grandpa? Why is there a plaque on your wall that says, 'Be polite and friendly?'"

"My dad used to say that. He learned it from a friend of his who ran these science fiction conventions. It was this guy's first rule for any list of rules, and it still rings true today."

"Why does the plaque also say, 'There is NO rule 6!'"

"I don't know either. There was some snake named Monty, I think, who once said there was no rule 6, but I never have trusted any list of rules beyond 5 because of that."
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The last 24 hours have been full of win [May. 3rd, 2008|10:28 pm]
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My old pessimistic side used to feel that just before something really horrible happened, a bunch of good things happened to me. Like the ultimate letdown. Then I thought, "It's to prepare me for something bad that was going to happen," so like the White Queen in "Alice Beyond the Looking Glass," I freaked out about things before they happened, and didn't enjoy the good times.

I still don't know if the "let down" is coming.

But, the last 24 hours have been a wild ride, and I'll enjoy it while it's here. Like I said in a previous enty, step 4 of 5 came by on Friday. Then today, I got a Virginia Learner's Permit. Yes, as in driving learners permit. Look out, Virginia, clear the sidewalks! This will mark the fourth time I have owned one, which is pathetic, truly at 39, but never say die. My night vision is much improved, so I don't have that fear I'll get lost somewhere after dark. CR and I took the test together, but sadly, they gave him all the dumbass questions ("How long to do have to submit a change of address form?" and bureaucratic stuff like that) and he didn't pass by one lousy point. Well, he goes back after 15 days.

Then we saw Ironman, which was awesome.

Then I went out with Scarlet and saw our friend Denise work as a volunteer and DC roller girl in training. "Triple-D Licious" will be her name, and she finds out next season (Sept/Aug) what team she will be on. Go Denise! WOO! I also got to see the final championship between the DC Demoncats and Scare Force One. Scare Force One got the title with a score of 42 to 53. Scarlet was my cheerful companion, despite the fact she did everything on crutches. Apparently she tore up all the soft tissue in her ankle, and is in a brace until the middle of June. :(
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A late weekend review, some whining [Apr. 29th, 2008|10:29 am]
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I don't remember much of the weekend. Saturday I really dug into the finances, and was pleased to see my Federal Return had already come in, so I paid a lot of bills that had backed up. I also straightened out my desk because I am *still* moving from my old den to my new, and it's caused some backup where stuff I can't categorize just ends up laying around.

Citibank bought my home loan. Dammit. I liked American Express PPH. I knw I have said this before, but when we first got the house, there was a problem where the bank accidentally split the house into two loans: a main one and a micropayment balloon loan. Those loans got bought and sold like four times in two years and it was hard to keep track of who to send the bills to for the current month. When we first refinanced, we consolidated it into PPH, and they had been our home loan ever since. When we had to get a second mortgage to fix the desk and parts of the roof, we went with... I forgot who we started with, but that was bought out by WAMU, and THAT was bought out by Wachovia. And when did I get that loan, 2006? Now I have to pay Citibank for my primary mortgage. I am not... all that happy with Citibank. I have had a bad past with them, although I haven't had much trouble with my current Citibank Credit card, which was once a different bank, I forget who. Even my local back, First Virgina, was bought out by BB&T, and they replaced the decent staff they had with the typical minimum wage drones like every other bank.

There's like no concept of customer loyalty. These mego-conglomo-corporations treat us like a commodity, like how we'd treat cash that comes and goes from our wallet. You ever form an attachment to a $5 bill? No, and the banks don't know you from anything, either. And all your personal information gets sold to another company. No wonder identity theft is so rampant.

On Sunday, I went out with the Heare kids and [info]aksident to the DC national Zoo. I had a lot of fun, and I think they did, too, despite it never getting warm or the sun coming out. Poor [info]aksident was freezing her legs something awful in these shorts she had. There were many reasons I took them out to the zoo: exercise (for me), the company, talking with them.

Scarlet is still 9, and already she's got a Bohemian streak in her I wouldn't have suspected just a few years ago. Her clothing choices are very unique, for instance, and her outlook of "pink and pretty princess" has faded away. I found she likes comics, and while I don't really get into them, boy has she found a good contact to someone who can hook her up. :) I wonder if I can get her some Tintin? Hey, my fellow comic book nerds, is there like a Tintin-like comic or graphic novel that has a female protagonist you'd recommend that's not like, "The Bratz Dolls Break a Nail" or "Hello Kitty Bakes a Cake" or something?

CR was supposed to come with us, but he had an emergency operation on his toe, and has been bedridden until yesterday. He has now been sick too many days, and it's official: he is not graduating this year. I haven't really spoken about it in the LJ because there was still hope for a while, but because of the way they do English, he's not going to pass. The options are he goes to summer school to finish English, or repeats his senior year and graduates in 2009. Both have advantages and drawbacks, but in order for CR to stay on our health insurance, he has to be in school. There is NO way we can afford his medical bills if he doesn't have insurance. He either has to get a job and get his own insurance, or stay in school full time. We're pushing for him to repeat his senior year to buy some time, but the school is resisting this because it's only one class. We have a meeting Thursday because I want everyone on the same page before we make a decision.

We can't afford to pay for his college, short and simple. I never had illusions otherwise, but our family's finances are stretched very thin, and we don't have any liquid assets. Haven't I played this record before? [info]takayla is working 2 jobs, I have my job, and the bills keep piling up. Most of them are medical, because even with the insurance, we're spending several hundred a month on prescriptions and co-payments. Then there's gas prices because we both work very far away from home. The irony is our family is making more a year than we ever had, and I am still paying bills like I did in 1995, before I got my first tech job and I was making only $19k/year. A lot of stuff is leaning on our credit cards, so we're paying buttloads of interest, and the balances keeps climbing because, on average, we spend $200-300 a month over what we take in. And then there's the incidentals, like house repairs, unexpected costs like [info]anyarm changing her wedding from here to Vegas, plus whatever else is "oh, we have to pay $300 for this thing..." This is ludicrous. So if we can stretch another year, CR will be legally an adult in July, and he'll be available for better financial assistance. The current plan is an electrician trade school of some kind, so we're looking into that. The pressure is on me to try and get the money under control, or I estimate we'll have to sell the house and move out by the end of this year. Right now when the housing market is collapsing. My emergency plans are to cash in my 401k in October so we can afford to live for maybe another year, but I really, really, really don't want to do that for obvious reasons.

But it's not all hopeless. Don't give up on me yet, guys, and don't give me free loaves of bread and jars of discount Mormon peanut butter out of pity. There are some rays of sun through these storm clouds, many which I can't mention yet, so I hope some favors I have in the world of karma come back to me.
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My den move... continues [Apr. 20th, 2008|10:17 am]
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Even though I have been working from my new den (CR's old bedroom) for a while now, it's been slow going to get it squared away. I still don't have all my stuff from my old den up here. Just most of it. A majority of the work has been going through my possessions and sorting them. This seems to be the sorting method:

  1. If I don't want it, and it's trash, toss it
  2. If I don't want it, and it's paperwork, shred it
  3. If I don't want it, but think it's still useful to somebody, it's been put in a box labeled as such. So far the Heare kids are going to get many toys, and I have to sneak this past their parents, because with 4 kids, they have far too many toys as it is. They have even expressly asked not to give their kids any more toys. Of course I have to disobey this, it's my job as the "fun Uncle."
  4. If I do want it, but can't let go of it for emotional bullshit reasons, it gets boxed and labeled.
  5. If I do want it, but I won't use it for a while, it gets boxed and labeled.
  6. If I do want it, and it's paperwork, it gets filed
  7. If I do want it, and it's not paperwork, but small, it's going in a universal "junk box" to be sorted later
  8. If I do want it, and it's not small... fuck, where am I going to put this? Try again from step 3.

Oddly enough, this isn't all that bad. I have generated a LOT of trash. Right now, I have more empty boxes than full ones. I have even had the "luxury" of throwing away cheap, torn, or stained boxes because I am keeping the more sturdy ones. A pile of empty boxes sits in one corner, waiting to be used, or given to [info]anyarm and Brian, when the move out in just a few months from now (sad face).
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The move continues [Dec. 12th, 2007|03:53 pm]
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CR is now sleeping in my old den, and my den is now getting set up in his old bedroom. There's still a lot of moving that still needs done, but most of my furniture is out except a filing cabinet and a shelf. The majority of moving now means carrying boxes and assorted loose stuff from his new room to my new den. And then doing the reverse for his stuff. Sadly, since his room is smaller, I have to take all my stuff out first before I can put his stuff in.

Last night, after stacking some containers and consolidating crates of stuff I just tossed together, I repaired my "new" (really, [info]stodgycat's old) dual-recliner love seat. We had taken parts out to fit it through my door, and I put them all back and reclined in my new den... gazed at my new ceiling fan making a nice breeze... and felt relaxed.

The tiki that guards CR's roomGod, though, the walls are so ugly. The previous owner's two older boys had this room, and the decor was a strip of border paper on the top of the walls that show killer whales mating or something. The rest of the white walls are dotted with teal green sponge prints, as you can see on the left. I think I will get some base coat and white it all out, and then eventually paint the walls a very calming pale blue and pale green.
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