punkwalrus (punkwalrus) wrote,

I am bored with this...

One of the things that kind of bums me out as a writer is when I start a piece I feel really charged about, and then about 5-6 pages into it, I am bored already. I am not sure if other writers have this problem, but I have a maybe 50-60 premises that died by the sixth page or sooner. That's like 2-3 hours or work just going to nothing. Here's some of them:

AKA 101: Named because she was "Jane Doe, a.k.a. case 101," a story about a mysterious young girl with pale skin and no memory who shows up at a police station in a suburban town. She seems feral, like she doesn't understand who she is or who other people are. In the beginning, she seems upset that a doll a social worker gave her "has no heartbeat," and treats it like a corpse. An officer is assigned to her case, whom she falls in love with, and whom he affectionately calls "Akalol." Slowly, he realizes that she's not a real human but a "collective ghost" representing a series of trapped souls related to an investigation of missing children. This ended because I got bored, and it had some potential child molestation overtones I got uncomfortable with.

Untitled: A bandit who fixes space ships illegally goes to find a slave to work with him and his wife at a hidden garage on an asteroid. What he finds is an alien who is the last of a line of a huge empire that was destroyed decades ago in one of the biggest galactic upsets of all time. This is when the bandit realizes his wife was a former caretaker of the children of the empire, and the only one who can teach the alien child the heritage of her ancestors. I stopped this because I felt this kind of story had been overdone ("Anastasia").

The Art of War: Loosely based on teachings of Sun Tzu, I started this story about a leader of a post-apocalyptic empire of humans who has cerebral palsy. This just died. It was awful.

Fandom of the Opera: The humorous story of a science fiction convention done in a mock opera. Eve worse than "The Art of War," because it TRIED to be funny.

Cybadger: In a kind of post-apocalyptic "Beatrix Potter" scenario, a badger is denied entrance to heaven to avenge the death of all the animals who dies in a massive slaughter from another planet. I liked the theme and my writing, but the whole concept of a Beatrix Potter apocalypse seemed too much like a spoof than I intended.

The Assassination: A first-person short story, mostly finished, where an assassin is set to kill Cynthia Kereluk, the milk lady (anyone remember her?). No one remembers Cynthia now.

The Day Hubert Fell Down: A gruesome first-person story of a student who goes crazy at a high school and kills everyone, as told by the school's only survivor, Hubert's bully. I wrote this before Columbine, and stopped when Columbine happened.

The House of Ice and Fire: The futuristic end of the world as told by college students who took a summer internship at a data center in the Antarctic. I felt it was too much that had been done already.

The Neptune Machine: A Lovecraftian story about a mysterious computer manufacturer who appears out of nowhere, makes the most popular and powerful computer gadgets ever, and the CIA team who discovers their true horrific origin. I might still complete this someday, but the problem is ANY computer stuff gets way outdated as references within 5 years.

A shit-ton of unpublished skits from my skit theater days. One of them is a running gag about a demon who is summoned by the emcee (me) to do my bidding and smite my enemies, only to find out he's worthless, and even worse, summons all kind of evil things by accident. One set of skits are summoned pirate ghosts who are nothing more than less-than-subtly trying to sell corporate products like Pepsi One, Pizza Hut, and Massingil Douche. They keep interrupting Opening Ceremonies, selling products in really awful ways ("In addition to scurvy, do you sometimes have that 'not so fresh' feeling?"). Another skit sells a "Psychodrama Theater in the Round," where the restaurant staff, as part of your dining experience, fights with one another in passive aggressive ways. The gag there is it's just a completely normal restaurant completely unaware they are being sold as a dinner theater. I don't do skit comedy anymore and not really for any reason than no opportunity came up I wanted to take.

Vera's Revenge: A murder mystery where people of a former BBS end up getting killed one by one. A detective suspects "Vera," the former BBS Sysop, who vanished and ended the BBS many years prior. I stopped this abruptly after the incident with the Crunchland folks because I felt they would think it was about THEM.

Ms. Jersey Mermaid contest: designed as part of a FanTek pool party with team Chicken Salad, this was to be a spoof on beauty pageants. Contestants would have a Speech, Talent, and Anti-swimsuit competition. Speeches were to be horrible topics presented to them blindly, like "Give Three Reasons Shaving Cream Should Never Be Given to Children" or "Why We need to Declare War on Greenland." Talent would be any talent they possess, and one given to them, like "Show us a special talent you have," followed with, "Now Try to Write with your Toes and this Paintbrush a poem." Anti-swimsuit was to be awarded to the person with the MOST clothing, which at a summer con, would be hard pressed to find winter coats and the like. This never saw the light of day, and is a shame.
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