punkwalrus (punkwalrus) wrote,

The Unhelpful Geek Anti-Gift guide

Most gift guides are lame. I see a lot of them where they are excuses just to promote stuff with a thinly veiled attempt to make it sound like they are connected. For instance, the plethora of ones that say, "Top Ten geek Gifts for Gadget Freaks," which reads like "Six recently-promoted technological devices, some of which are our sponsors, plus four you've never heard of, and if you had to get a gift for a geek, you're obviously not a geek, and you wouldn't know what they were, anyway." Like:

Have a geek you need to get a cool, edgy toy for? Here's the top ten list of geek favorites as compiled by a marketing staff who think being geek is trendy:

10: Popular game system
9: Obscure gaming peripheral for said system ("It's a glove, it's a controller, and it sprays a dessert topping!")
8: A vacation to some place nobody has heard of ("Playa de Difteria is famous for the backdrops seen in episode 445 of the popular Doctor Who Show!")
7: Popular Home Theater system
6: A show-themed gadget which would be a hit for geeks that follow popular media, but a disaster for those who don't ("It's a Star Wars bust of the Alien Jar Jar!")
5: Popular HDTV with a satellite dish plan
4: Something so targeted, it would only apply to 0.001% of the geeks out there ("A Spinthariscope repair kit!")
3: Something so outrageously rare or expensive, they know you'd never seriously attempt it ("Their own, personal, 4-person submarine!")
2: Popular Music player
1: Popular Smart phone
Tags: christmas, gifts, tech
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