punkwalrus (punkwalrus) wrote,

How is the $^%&$@! swearing going?

You may remember that this year I vowed to cut down swearing to almost nothing. I actually started practice runs in December, and by January, I committed to no more swearing unless it was REALLY needed.

It's going quite well. Since I had done this before, I sort of knew what to expect, but I didn't try this since I have started blogging so I thought I'd tell you how it feels to go from swearing dozens of times a day to almost nothing.

The first thing I notice is that, as a creative speaker, I am somewhat limited when it comes to choice words for strength and anger. This was my primary goal, as a matter of fact, since I was relying too heavily on "f this" and "f that" and using the f-word, s-word, and the word that also means donkey as a compound prefix. Like "That donkey-hat f-'d up his s again!" instead of, "That jerk messed up his stuff again." It doesn't have the sharp edge of anger, but I was saying stuff like that WAY too much. Even around children. Yet there is a NEED for this kind of talk when I am really mad, and it forces me to come up with more creative forms of slander. "That abortion of a brain fart just took a dive into chlorine and still came up stinking of excrement. How that troglodyte still stays employed is beyond my meager comprehension of workplace security." Sadly, it is MUCH harder to come up with that kind of talk on the fly. So I find my statements tend to fall flat, like "Oh, HECK no! Screw THIS stuff!" doesn't have the OOMPH.

After a week, I start to notice other people swearing and... it rubs me the wrong way! I find this hilarious. I guess this is how people on a diet look at people gorging themselves at the dessert buffet. "They should have... more control! Why, why... they used 4 swear words in that statement alone!" Note, DO NOT feel like you have to curtail your swearing around me; this is my battle, not yours. I just find it funny that suddenly I become more sensitive to it.

My slip ups are usually more when I write than speak, but at least with typing, I can hit backspace. In person, however, I find I have about 2-3 slip ups a day on average (mostly under my own breath), but I have now gone a day here or there without a single curse word. My slip ups are usually when I am quoting someone who swears (like a comedy bit), or when I am using one of a many set of "autopilot" phrases I use as a buffer to allow me to think before my next statement.

My biggest tests are when I deal with Microsoft products, and coming up, Katsucon as assistant con chair. I can see Katsucon going two ways: one, not much happens worth swearing over. Or, I become angrier without the crutch of choice foul words to bubble forth like a bile between my lips. I plan to teach myself surrogate statements like from this commercial:

Tags: swearing
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