But now a week without steady sleep has given me some insight into some bizarre effects and I felt I should write them down so I can read them later.
- I write stuff down to read later. I started doing this a few years ago when I was out of it. I felt if I didn't e-mail myself certain notes, I wouldn't remember events at all. The eerie side effect is about one third of all notes I write myself I have NO recollection of writing. So it's like getting notes from a Punkie in an alternate universe. Thankfully, alternate universe Punkie is the same as... non-alternate universe Punkie. I am very kind in my notes, expressing things only I'd understand in a kind way. I say, "Hello" and "thank you" like I am speaking to a small child I'd like to encourage.
- I see black furry worms. I have had this since I was a kid. From time to time, I'd see what looks like furry, teardrop-shaped slugs about the size of a cat dart around corners and hide between objects at the corner of my vision.
- My vision gets grainy. It's like I can see the individual molecules that make up air.
- I get "Alice in Wonderland syndrome." People suddenly get far away like down a tunnel or looking through the wrong end of binoculars.
- I feel like my center of consciousness is about one foot to the right of me. Most of the time, I feel like I am in my head. But when I get tired, this perception of my center of consciousness shifts around.
- Parts of my body's system shut down. Notably the stomach. It simply stops working, and so food goes in and comes out, often very unaltered from the mashed up form I swallowed. I get heart palpitations, and sometimes my sense of balance gets so screwed up, my mind thinks the walls are "down" and gravity is somehow holding me to the wall (which is really the floor).
- I black out long periods of time. Like, I'll be active, and on autopilot... but have no memory of what happened.
The thing is, my head does not hurt at all when I am upright. It's when my head is tilted for long periods of time, like about half an hour or more, than the pain starts. Finally, it gets so bad, the swelling pushes up on my left eyeball, and then I get double vision because it can't quite swivel fast enough with the other eye. So I sleep in small, exhausted bursts for 20-40 minutes before I wake up, and have to wait about an hour before the pain has subsided enough to sleep. So I can't lie down for very long. I tried sleeping sitting up, but as I fall asleep, my head tilts, and it starts all over again.