punkwalrus (punkwalrus) wrote,

What If God Were One of Us...?

Sometimes, I ponder what would happen if I got God-like powers. This summer, there will have been a few movies that will address that. Over the years, I have seen countless TV shows and read countless books that speculate this "what if?" Often, they have some sort of moral message, like "Being God is hard," and "You end up not doing the shallow stuff after all."

First, I'd ask myself, "How did I get these powers?" I think that this is crucial, because it defines my purpose in having them. But let's skip a lot of mumbo-jumbo, and get to the end result: God-like powers.

I'd feel awfully responsible, and would probably spend some time testing them in inconspicuous locations. One of the things I'd test for was based on a lesson some kid learned in one of the stories I read where God said, "Every time you create something, something else must be destroyed. If you summon water to quench your thirst, water has to come from somewhere." I mean, that's something to think about. But we'll leave the realm of physicals and finite matter and just say I have omnipotent powers of all-being and all-knowing and all-doing. Based on this, I have thought it over for years, and have come to shatter some misconceptions about God-like powers, once you think "outside the box."

Myth #1: "The first thing I'd do is get revenge on..." No way. First, why give the person you hate the satisfaction of wasting God-like powers on them? If I was God-like, I wouldn't NEED that revenge. Success is the best revenge, and I wouldn't even CARE what that person or people thought of me anymore. I'd be so busy doing other things.

Myth #2: "Money and wealth would be mine..." I think the only reason I'd desire money or wealth is the security of not having to worry about whether I can afford things I want to do or not. Some people like wealth because of the power. God-like powers removes that need. I'd never use a huge mansion with nubile women, and it'd be a waste for me to take something that I don't need. Money and jewels are only virtual demand supported values, anyway. If I created gold, I'd reduce it's value on the market, and investors would go poor. No, I'd live quietly with my family. Let the people who love gold and diamonds get gold and diamonds.

Myth #3: "I'd help so-and-so get their wish..." In the 34 years I have lived, I have found that what most people wish for, they either say they want but never try to get it, or they don't deserve or realize the burden of what they want. An old Chinese curse says, "May you get whatever your wishes desire..." because often, what we want is the worst thing we could get. Also, I have tried to help many people, and I have found that even with a handout, some people slap it away or never use what opportunities I have given them. That's a hard pill to swallow. I have had several friends who are jobless, and when I find them opportunities, they never take me up on it, or make some excuse as to why it will never work. Mind you, some people will take advice and help you give them, and really improve themselves. I have made many more successful attempts at helping people improve themselves than failures, but it's usually because they wanted to succeed in the first place, and eventually, even if I didn't help them, they'd be okay.

Myth #4: "I'd never tell anyone, because people would constantly bug me for favors ..." I recall an episode of South Park, where someone prays to Jesus to let his team win, and Jesus is a few bleachers away, shouting "Oh, leave me out of this!" Yeah, that's a valid concern, but if you have God-like powers, you have two forks of thought. The first is you will not only be able to help everyone with their favors, but you won't tire of it. You have God-like powers, which means you can do anything and feel any way about it. The second fork is that you can create a force field that makes people forget about you unless you specifically ask them not to. Douglas Adams had one of those in his books, it was called an "SEP Field," where SEP means "Somebody Else's Problem." A ship with this field could never be seen directly, and the closer you got to it, the more likely you'll be distracted and forget what you were doing, because your brain interpreted the ship as something you don't have to worry about, and thus, blends into the background no matter what it looks like.

So what would I do with God-like powers? I'd take advantage of the "be many places at once," and invisibly follow people around to see what they're doing. Just out of curiosity. I'd study cultures and people. Of course, if I was omniscient, I'd already know the answers. Then life would be totally boring. I'd lose my will to exist. Thus, to save myself, I'd force myself to forget I am God-like, and then act as a normal person.

Then I ask, "How do I know that has not already happened?"

[OOOOoooooWEEEEEEEEeeeeoooooo ...]

This entry was originally posted at http://www.punkwalrus.com/blog/archives/00000121.html
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