punkwalrus (punkwalrus) wrote,

My New Friend Benny

I made a new friend a few days ago. I am going to call him "Benny," because I don't really know his real name. All I know about Benny is what I can extrapolate from his comments in my blog. My adventures began with Benny when he left a very angry sarcastic comment in my blog. I replied, and then he sent another. From the same IP.

When people leave comments on my blog, or even load a web page here (or anywhere), they leave an IP address behind in the logs. I wanted to know more about Benny, so I traced the IP address to a web server at Rutgers University. When he was informed of this, and when I told him I informed them they'd been hacked, he changed to a server on the outskirts of Chicago, owned by a major long distance carrier. Now, I could report it to this LD carrier, but the harsh facts of life are that they care about as much about their internal network as modern poultry farmer cares that one of his six million chickens has died due to a preventable sickness. "As long as it doesn't affect a whole lot of chickens, I don't care." I know. I used to work with them (and still have to put up with them from time to time, since we have a few T1's from them at work). Let's just say they've been bitter since 1982.

Benny cares a great deal about me. He reads a lot of my work, and while he angrily states he doesn't like what he sees, the fact is that his he reads it a lot, according to my logs. Kind of like how sexually repressed people keep seeing sex everywhere. Benny is at least at my level of intelligence, judging from his use of words, grammar, and sarcasm, and while I personally think his emotional maturity needs a little work, you can't fault him for that. But what is obvious is that Benny needs to see my stuff, he's probably not going to go away, and while I could easily be rid of him (block IP, delete comments, and so on), I don't think he's really all that bad. He's just a little angry. I think he sees things in my blog that he sees in himself, and while he hasn't quite learned to deal with that, not everyone matures at the same rate. So I hope he keeps reading and posting, and the rest of my readers can deal with him like that grumpy guy on the bus who screams Armageddon is coming, and we'll all be judged. He's got a right to free speech as much as I have. Benny is the loyal opposition, I welcome his comments, and I hope I learn good things from him.

"Learn from him?" you say. I am sure he'll make a comment about that! "Oh, you are SO kind and forgiving!" he'll say with angry sarcasm, hoping I'll retract what I say, scared of looking like a martyr. No, I do hope to learn from him. When I was guest artist at Evecon 4 (with my stuff in the program book, back cover, and even the badges), I was pretty full of myself. I introduced myself to a young girl who asked "Who are you?" as "The Guest Artist." I'll never forget what she said next: "So what?" Hee! That showed me. I learned from that event not to take myself so seriously. That's what Benny's for. He'll be like that guy in the audience, heckling the Emcee. "You suck!" Then I say, "It's a shame when cousins marry and have kids." He'll go, "Yeah, you're proof of that!" And I go, "Do I come to your work and knock the mop out of your hand?" And then he'll say something else. Then I'll steal his material (just kidding, Benny). While I want to assure him that I am not going to "get him back," if I find out who he really is (which I can, but won't), I do hope that he changes his mind about hacking other people's systems. That's illegal Benny, and while you think you may be one of a bazillion anonymous hacker-types, I can't be responsible if you get traced eventually. Those odds are low, yes, but I'd hate to see you go when I just got to meet you.

Benny, welcome! You wanted attention, and you've got it! There's a table waiting for you, right by the kitchen. The waiter will be with you in a moment. It is good to see you again.

This entry was originally posted at http://www.punkwalrus.com/blog/archives/00000130.html
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