punkwalrus (punkwalrus) wrote,

Anyone ever actually slammed the door on a salesperson? I just did.

So, a few days ago, two girls came to my house. They were probably no more than 21 years of age, each, and if they were 18/19, it wouldn't have surprised me. Blond hair with highlights, makeup complete with heavy eyeliner and false eyelashes, khaki shorts, knee-high sports socks, and dress shirts unbuttoned to strategic levels. Not exactly what I';d consider professional uniforms, but I got the point pretty quickly.

"Hello, we are with Bugzapper Extermination?" I hate sharp, high pitched voices on bimbo stereotypes, and I hate when they talk like everything's a question? That is so annoying? "And we're conducting a survey of blah blah blah...? Blah blah blah? We offer blah blah?" I recall thinking this is how cheerleaders die. Then I recall thinking how pandering they were trying to be to my male senses. The one that talked had a clipboard and a cap with a cheerful ponytail sticking out the back, and she'd swish it around. How quaint. I guess that most men would have drooled and dry humped the doorknob or something, but I have a kid probably older than they are. No, Sean, no pics. You have the Internet; I cannot compete. But these kids were tenacious.

Me: I am sorry, I am in the middle of someth--
Bimbo: So, sir, can I ask you who is your extermination service?
Me: Orkin, and they are great. Thank y--
Bimbo: [slams Orkin] Can I just show you some thing around your house?
Me: I am sorry, I am not interested.
Bimbo: Our company is one of the top [blah blah blah] And blah blah blah?
Me: If you're the top extermination service, how come I never heard of you?
Bimbo: [Some BS story about small family owned company, ground up model, word of mouth]?
Me: Then if they are so great, how come they have to hire people to sell their product door to door?
Bimbo: [Canned response][Keeps trying to hand me clipboard][Keeps trying to get me to come outside and see something next to my house][?]
Me: I am sorry, but you have interrupted--
Bimbo: It will just take a few seconds. A few seconds is all I ask. Pweeeease, sir?
Me: You had those already. I know, you are very tenacious. You are not listening, and I am leaving.
Bimbo: [ignoring me] So if you will just come out here and see--
Me: [SLAM!]
Son: Who was that??
Me: Some bimbos selling bug protection.
Son: [joking] Maybe I wanted bimbos spraying for bugs! Did you ask me?
Me: They are probably still out there if you want them.

He declined.

Dear Penthouse Forum, I never thought it would happen to me, but I slammed the door on two hot women...
Tags: annoying, salespeople
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