I also got smacked in the groin by a small little girl! I was shopping at a normal grocery store (the local Giant Food store behind my house) on Sunday (today), looking for ingredients to finish a huge stew we have been cooking all day. While looking for a veggie scrubber, some 4 or 5 year old girl was running about in front of me, red-faced, screaming, having a tantrum over some such thing. I have a kid, I have been there. So I didn't try and look disapprovingly at the mom, who was doing the "I am NOT giving into you" ignoring phase, which was upsetting the girl even more. Finally, the girl apparently crossed some line, and the mother said, "Get out of that man's way, please," and the girl... she was young, folks... the girl just swung and hit me square in the balls with her fist. I guess out of protest. Now, if she had hit me anywhere else, her weak little swing wouldn't have caused more than a flinch, but it was the combination of the shock of the attack and the sudden pain that forced me to double over, and then my back went "pang!" It must have looked as if she had hit me with a softball bat, and my reaction was actually much greater than the actual pain. The mother was stunned and horrified! She grabbed her daughter's arm and yanked her aside, and helped me bend back up. I told her the fist didn't hurt, but my back had been bothering me. She gushed and gushed apologies after apologies, and asked if I wanted to get the store manager or something. I feared this would get out of hand quickly, and said, "No, luckily she's very young, and didn't hit hard. I just didn't expect it, that's all." I lied. My balls did hurt, but not as bad as they have been hurt from various accidents or bullies in the past. I told her I didn't bear any ill will towards her and her daughter, and then I am a parent, and have seen worse. The women was just too shocked and stunned to do anything but repeat how sorry she was, and at least this forced the girl to hide behind the cart and stay quiet. Luckily, no one else was there, and I quickly made my exit. My nuts were a little sore for about an hour, but I have had worse (a few years ago, while stretching to get something in my lab at work, I smacked them on the corner edge of a desk... ho, ow!).
Also, I did a lot of work work. See, we test all these programs, and we had three sets of testing machines that suddenly started getting unexpected popups, which we feared would halt the process and lead to a weekend's worth of a results ruined during a critical time. So I had to connect via a work VPN, which is dicey at best, especially with that MS Blaster worm running around the network. My firewall got hit a lot on port 135, which made checking machines and test results even harder. Plus, I had to study a lot on databases, mostly refresher courses, because I have a week do come up with a home-made ODBC connection engine that can report testing results real-time instead of daily reports like we have been doing. Oy yoy yoy...
My best friend from way back, Neal called, and he's coming to town next weekend! Neal and I met in 4th grade, but then after 6th, that bastard moved to El Paso, Texas. Then he moved around to Houston, went to college in Austin, and then inexplicably moved to Ohio. During the ages of 12 - 19, we sent cassette tapes back and forth. He's the oldest friend I have, and was the best man at my wedding. He's a linguistics expert who also knows a lot about ballroom dancing. No, he's not gay! He's married with two adorable kids now. He's not bringing the kids. This sucks, because I wanted to give them a lot of chocolate and Mountain Dew, shake them up, and give them back! Ha ha! That will teach him to move to Texas!
See you in a week, Neal!
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