This thread reminds me of a short story I read in a book called "Microcosmic Tales" (a collection of SHORT short SF)... anyway, here's an excerpt from "Useful Phrases for the Tourist" by Joanna Russ:
AT THE PARTY:
- Is that you?
- Is that all of you? How much (many) of you is (are) there?
- I am happy to meet your clone
- Are you edible? I am not edible.
- Is this intended to be erotic?
- Are you pregnant?
- Can't we just be friends?
- Although I am very flattered by your kind offer, I cannot accompany you to the mating pits, as I am viviparous.
IN THE HOSPITAL:
- My eating orifice is not at that end of my body.
- Placing the thermometer there will yield little or no information.
AT THE THEATRE:
- Is this supposed to be erotic?
- Is this part of the performance?
- My religious convictions prevent me from joining in the performance.
- Stop touching me.
- Sir or Madam, that is mine (extrinsic).
- Sir or Madam, that is mine (intrinsic).
This entry was originally posted at http://www.punkwalrus.com/blog/archives/00000266.html