I have never broken a bone. I have never been arrested, or been in jail, but I have been handcuffed in the back of a cop car, where I learned that I could pop my thumb joint and wriggle at least one hand out of a pair of handcuffs if I ever had to. I once made Carl Sagan smile. I played one season of Little League, badly, when I was 8. I am allergic to corn, beans, and eggs. I secretly want to build Hot Rods. I like Bluegrass, and I want to one day mix it with Techno Acid music. I quit Boy Scouts because I hated my troop members, not any of the leadership. I was mostly colorblind from age 11 to 14, and still have very poor night vision. I have talked myself out of being stabbed twice. I used to be relied upon to talk people down from acid trips (it's never been needed since 1992) because of my "calm demeanor."
When I go to Hawaii, I plan to visit a volcano, and give my respects to Pele. I once achieved a state of "Delta Sleep," were I could sleep 1-2 hours a day and still feel refreshed, and after a few weeks of that, I nearly went insane because of lack of REM sleep. My record (by my own attempt) without food, water, and sleep was 3 days with no water, 4 days no food and no sleep when I was 13, just to see how long I could go. I once lived in a haunted apartment. I have this odd fascination with late 50s, early 60s hip culture with Beatniks, Tiki decor, and Rat Pack Vegas. I have lost my faith that there really is a Loch Ness Monster. I am resistant to poison ivy, and have never broken out in it, even after prolonged contact and hard rubbing. When I was a kid, horses used to panic in my presence. I was attacked by dogs several times as a child, and used to be terrified of them. Twice, dogs have nearly ripped apart my chin (I still have scars).
I enjoy classical music, but it is so complicated, I find it's hard to relax to, and it distracts me. I am fascinated by deep sea creatures. I think Liberace was cool. I am an earth-science geek, especially the fields of geology, paleontology, meteorology, oceanography, and astronomy (of course). I was once accused of being a glutton, and eating raw cookie dough out of a tube, and was very upset by this accusation, yet a few years afterwards, I went out and bought a tube to see what that would be like, and now I love raw cookie dough out of a tube, dammit! I hate raisins, despite several attempts in my life to try and like them. I am happy I am not allergic to antibiotics because buddy, I need them about once every two years, and they have pulled me out of so many serious illnesses and infections since I was a child, that I consider it a staunch ally in my universe. I have a sizable stuffed animal collection. I auditioned for a McDonald's commercial when I was 13, but didn't get a callback.
I once had a mysterious disease when I was 10, where I broke out like the measles, but had no other symptoms (no fever, felt fine, etc.). They never did figure out what I had, but it went away in a week, and came back a few times over the next few years if I ever got overheated (like a heat rash, but tiny pinpoint dots of bright red). I like woodcut drawings from the 1800s. I have an uneasy peace with Disco, since I went a long time hating it when I was a kid. I used to be an Algebra and Spanish tutor when I was in high school, and made some good money for a while. For three years, I also used to be an assistant to a crazy-cool Spanish teacher from Argentina. Yet somehow, my Spanish is terrible, and I can't hold a decent conversation with a Spanish-speaking person. Caray!
This entry was originally posted at http://www.punkwalrus.com/blog/archives/00000375.html