Dude1: Okay, listen for a second. I have to tell you something very important, and you have to promise not to tell anyone, okay?
Dude2: What is going ON man?
Dude1: Okay, well, see... all right. You remember all that equipment you have in your garage? You know, the stuff you kept for the company picnic before the buyout?
Dude2: Yeah. What, does the company want it back?
Dude1: No. The company doesn't even know it exists anymore. The new management couldn't give a fuck about the employees, and they are so clueless about assets, that... okay, first, everything is still there, right?
Dude2: Yeah...? What the heck will I do with all those party supplies and stuff?
Dude1: Okay, what you have are NOT picnic and carnival supplies. You have, in your garage... ... over one million dollars worth of equipment. Servers, routers, racks, and so on.
Dude2: Oh my god.
Dude1: We told you they were supplies for the picnic because ... we didn't want you to get into any trouble. Look, Ray knew about the buyout months before we got wind of it. So, right before the buyout, he purchased all that equipment, and then we put it in your garage, my basement, and Tom's garage.
Dude1: Think about it. Ray knew the company was in trouble. He knew our competitor would buy us out, and so he accepted the bid for the competitor he knew would be a moron with the paperwork. He bought all that equipment right before he accepted the bid, knowing that the bills would come in 60 days after the audit.
Dude2: Oh my god. Oh my god. What if something happened to it? Like my garage leaked? No wonder you rented a fork lift.
Dude1: I chose your house because the garage was new, and not full, and I trusted you, man. Have I ever let you down?
Dude2: S-so... Ray...?
Dude1: Ray is starting a new company. He got tired of the old biz. Ray is using his money from the buyout to start a new company, and Tom and I are helping out. When we get everything set up, we'll take the equipment, you quit work, come to our company... you get your old job title back, and you won't work for Dr. Evil anymore, okay?
Dude2: Wow. I don't believe it.
Dude1: I told you I'd take care of you. I have never let you down, ever. You okay?
Dude2: Yeah. I just wish you would have told me.
Dude1: We... I didn't want you to worry. And it's not illegal. Ray bought the stuff, and the competitor picked up the tab under assumed debt. They have never debated it for a second because they never check. Now let's get back to the table, just keep your mouth quiet, but just agree that Tom knows what he's talking about, okay?
Dude2: Wow... just... wow.
Then they both left. This was back in the Dot.com bubble, so this was pretty sneaky. I still wonder if it's legal, or Dude2 was being lied to, or what. Pretty weird. I know if someone stored stuff in my house... I'd be peeking.
This entry was originally posted at http://www.punkwalrus.com/blog/archives/00000403.html