punkwalrus (punkwalrus) wrote,
punkwalrus
punkwalrus

No more Tyrone in my pants

Well, I got a new cell phone. It's the Virgin Mobile plan, which is "pay-as-you-go," which should save me a lot of money in the long term. All I have to do is make sure I spend $20 every 90 days to keep the phone active. But due to some Sprint silliness, they couldn't transfer my old number without a lot of problems, and since didn't care for it all that much, I didn't really fight it.

Problems? Well, yes. First, the number had a lot of the same digits in it, in a different order. Like 713-737-3717 (not my real number), and people would keep dialing the wrong number. My new number is easier to say. Second, and this didn't happen often, there was a guy named "Tyrone" who apparently owed a lot of people money. I am not sure if I got his old cell, or he put my cell by accident, had bad handwriting, or if he did so on purpose as his "standard fake number." But I'd say every few months, sometimes in 3-4 call bursts, I'd get calls for Tyrone. "When are you going to pay this bill?" "You tell Tyrone that if he don't come here and settle this, we gonna send down some people, yo?" It always seemed like people with urban accents called for Tyrone from 202, 301, and 410 area codes (DC and Maryland). Most hung up the second I said, "Hello, this is Grig." Some would call right back, and then pause, maybe ask for Tyrone, or just hang up again. One number in particular was a young sounding woman from a 202 area code, who would call once, hang up, then call again, and say, "Yo, is Tyrone deh?" "No," I'd say, "There is no Tyrone at this number. This is a private cell phone, owned by me. Please update your records." "Okey, lissin. I do'n know who put you up to dis, but you tell TY-RONE dat Mee-shell ain't buyin' di shit!" I could almost feel her finger wagging a Z shape in the air. After a few years of this, I has assumed that Tyrone has a particularly dim family member who calls as a Michelle proxy at my number, because Michelle never calls directly. I also have guessed that Tyrone owes a lot of hospital bills from a clinic in PG County, stiffed a few car shops around Columbia and Baltimore, and has some friends who mumble more than drugged teens in an opium den. "Naanah do dif naaa eeehhh Tyrone?" "There is no Tyrone at this number. This is a private cell phone, owned by me. Please update your records." Can you tell I memorized this script? There'd be a long pause, where I can usually hear traffic or club music, and then something like, "Ayeh dem no fo. Shee-- [click]" I might go months without hearing calls for Tyrone, and then another burst, usually with the same players. I won't miss that.

I wish it had been Chris Rock, though. That would have been funny.

As I have said a lot in this blog, I'm going to see "Kill Bill: Vol. 2" today, I think, when Christine gets off of work. The ratings have been superb. RottenTomatoes.com had it rated at 89%, which is really high for them (over 60 is considered "good" and over 70 is "really good"). Hellboy was only at 73%, and that movie was great. I have heard it's not as "active" as Vol. 1, it has more story, but I don't care because, wow, I just want to know what the hell happens! After seeing Pulp Fiction again, a few months ago, I can appreciate Quentin's directorial style a lot more that I could back in 1993, when I first saw it. I should see "Reservoir Dogs" at some point, too.

This weekend marks the end of my vacation. Tomorrow, a friend of Christine's is coming from out of town and spending the day, so I have to clean the house up. Then on Sunday, I am going to be in Baltimore on business. Then back to work Monday.

This entry was originally posted at http://www.punkwalrus.com/blog/archives/00000457.html
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