punkwalrus (punkwalrus) wrote,

Pretty AND smart...

Sometimes Christine asks me why I ever married her. I always tell her that's she's pretty, smart, and so on, which she sometimes denies for some reason. Sometimes I am torn between "it's better she isn't arrogantly smart" and "she's not realizing how good she really is." I struggle with the same image problem, so I don't really try to cure it under the philosophy, "physician, heal thyself."

But here's an example of WHY I think she's smart. She's like me, a problem-solver. She can't stand an unresolved issue, and that's why she likes sci-fi a little, and fantasy a lot: they ask "what if" and she probably compares her answer to the one the author or screenwriter does. Yesterday, we watched the second half of "Matrix: Reloaded." Neither one of us has seen "Revolutions" yet, mostly because I heard some horrible things about it from people I trusted for reviews of such things. The worst of all being, "It ends unresolved." This is something that I don't care for very much, unless it's one of those that "make you think," and my friends assure me, no, it doesn't make you think, unless it makes you think the writers wrote themselves into a corner, and ended almost as badly as "The Prisoner" series. So, knowing Christine REALLY hates unresolved endings, I sort of discouraged us watching it. Well, now we're going to get a copy and watch it.

During the last part, especially the part with "the Architect," we talked about what that really meant, about the anomalies, seven Neos, choice, and so on. The is only the second time we watched that movie (although we've seen "The Matrix" several times). I wanted to show her "The Animatrix," so we watched that, and I got a lot more this second time around. We discussed how easy it was to "get away with" certain plot issues, because you can always claim that the Matrix is not real, and not bound by all physical laws. She then stated she really wanted to see "Revolutions," even though she knows that Trinity dies (I don't know how she knew that, but I had heard the same thing).

When I first met her, and "went out" with her at Balticon in 1988, she had similar discussions about religion. You have to understand, before her, I met a few people who discussed religion intelligently, but they were either men, or women with far too many problems to be even remotely considered as "dating material." I was very picky about whom I'd date. She had to be smart, attractive, and funny. Many of my male friends at the time would date anyone with a pulse, and the goal was to have sexual intercourse. Some of them dated or even married these women, and found out most of them were dull, liars, or just plain crazy. But see, I knew this would happen. I wanted to marry someone smart, and I mean more than book smart, but wise.

Here's an example. If I asked most girls my age at the time (19), "What is the nature of God?" I'd likely get these responses:

Dumb: What? I dunno.
Boring: I never really think about it. Doesn't matter, really.
Drunk: Tee hee. You are sooo funny. What's yer name again? That izz sho weird...zzzzzzzz...
Neurotic: Why would you ask such a question? Do I look like I know?
Crazy: I see God in my quartz crystals and she tells me I am Princess Moon Faerie!

I was looking for something like, "Good question. I wonder that myself. Here's my theory..." to show me that they do think about heavy stuff. Sometimes older women did this, but I didn't want to date women much older than I was, because I didn't want a mommy figure. I figured, and my friends pretty much agreed, I would not easily find what I was looking for in the same person. If anything, because I was kind of ugly and a smart, attractive, funny girl would never even consider me dating material. Especially at 19. And in fandom? The non-neurotic part was considered REAL picky at that age level, especially my unhealthy attraction to punk and goth girls.

Then my friend Betty introduced me to Christine. The timing was impeccable, and I attribute some help from Joann on this as well, because it turned out she was friends to both of us (but we didn't know at the time). Christine was one of those happenings in my life that was a series of unusual timings on both sides; if one minor thing had been different, we wouldn't have ever met. One night with her was magical. I was talking to someone who was my intellectual better, but not arrogant or boastful about it. I could have long conversations with her. Better yet, she liked me back!

And hopefully still does.

This entry was originally posted at http://www.punkwalrus.com/blog/archives/00000593.html
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