punkwalrus (punkwalrus) wrote,

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AMV Judging

Gah, I can't sleep. We're out of antacids, and I am having massive heartburn. Part of the benefit package with an ulcer. It's shame because I have to get up early this morning to have an 8am meeting about this massive thing at work.

I guess I can mention how booked I am all weekend. Let's see, Friday Matt and Anya come over, and then Saturday, all day, we have Katsucon Anime Video Judging at our house.

Judging anime videos is interesting. I would say it breaks down like this:

- 2% winners
- 10% pretty good
- 70% boring
- 15% just awful
- 3% really, really bad and possibly disturbing

We had some pre-judging, and one of them is apparently disturbingly violent and another very pornographic. You know, you have to wonder what kind of person would submit such things to a non-hentai con. Somehow, these few submitters take clip after clip of some girl getting raped by an octopus, and put it to something by Static X or Aphex Twin, and say, "Yeah... this will win."

Stuff that would make GWAR go, "Uh... man, that's sick."

Maybe they just get off on the fact they made something like this, and someone watched. Like a reverse voyeur. There's probably name for that in the sex community, but I can't think of it right now. Flasher-by-proxy? Anyway, it always reminds me of Dennis Hopper's character in "Blue Velvet." "Baby wants to fuck! Baby wants to fuck Blue Velvet! [sssshhh gaaasssp] Don't look at meeee...! Don't you fucking look at meeee!!!!" At least when you hear some angry 20-something long-haired guy screaming guttural pissings into a microphone halfway down his throat, it matches the scenery. I guess it might be more disturbing if they were to children's tunes, like Raffi's "Baby Beluga" or something. [shudders]


There's only 42 entries, like half of previous years! That means only about 4 hours of viewing. That's about enough, because after hour 6, you are getting silly and vaguely insulting. Judging becomes not based on overall value, but how much better your video was after 10-15 really horrible ones.

AMVJudge1: Entry #57 is...
AMVJudge2: No... please NO! Not again!
AMVJudge1: Yes... Final Fantasy X, XI or... one of those CGI things.
AMVJudge3: I am going to tear my eyes out!! I swear it!!
AMVJudge1: Bob, take that paring knife from Jim and tighten the straps.
AMVJudge1: This one is done to Haddaway's "What is Love?"
AMVJudge2: I am voting for Akira with Raffi's "Baby Beluga"... it's the best so far...
AMVJudge1: No, don't be hasty! There's still hope!
AMVJudge3: That's what you said after Wolf's Rain done to Scott Joplin! Don't look at meeee...! Don't you fucking look at meeee!!!!
AMVJudge1: Mistakes were made... here we go. ["What is love...?/ Baby don't hurt me... don't hurt me... no more..."]
AMVJudge2: Jim's chewed off his own arms and escaped!
AMVJudge1: No.. wait. Let him go. He's... he's earned it...

Of course, then you get that really good one. That one that brings tears to your eyes because you know that the producer "got it." Pink Floyd's "Mother" done to Evangeleon was a good one. That studio nailed the AMV award. Golden Boy's nearly impossible bicycle ride around the mountains to chase a girl in a sports car done to a Blumchen's cover of Queen's "Bicycle Race" was also a really good one. And sometimes the good ones make it all worth it. At least I get to hang out with fellow Katsu-friends.

Katsucon AMV Contest: We watch the bad ones so you don't have to!
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