Okay, I was out, now I am back, and working from home. Christine puts up with this stuff all the time, and never complains. But here's today's list of excitements from noon - 3:00
12:15 - Dogs go nuts. Scruffy man knocks on door, looks in Windows. I answer door. He asks if we need any trees pruned or stuff like that. I say we already have contractors who do that. He walks away, while I am speaking to him, back to his old Green GMC truck. He did this to several houses, so I took down the license plate number, just in case he's casing the place.
12:30 - Dogs go nuts. Woman is at door, asking if anyone here we owned a red van that had parked in such a way that it blocked her driveway. I said no, but if she doesn't get a response soon, to call the cops. She said they told her to ask around first before they send someone. I notice a lot of cars parked on the street. Odd time to have a large gathering, middle of a Wednesday afternoon...
12:35 - Dogs go nuts. It's some Asian guys with a HUGE moving van trying to find an address. Turns out it's about a block away.
1:12 - Dogs go nuts. USPS delivers a package for Christine.
1:30 - Dogs go nuts. It's cheesy_reads, who is casing the joint under the pretense she's dropping off a birthday invitation for Christopher. She has Keiran with her, I assume, so she can break a window, push him through, and then he lets her in so they can rob the place. She even brought an empty van to take away all my cool stuff. I nearly scare her to death when I open the door, because she didn't expect anyone to be home. Nice try, cheesy_reads!!! I am on to you! *
1:40 - Dogs go nuts. This time it's UPS, delivering a "package" for Christine. I assume it's a bomb, and not the packet of clothing from Lane Bryant it's pretending to be. I toss it into alley behind my house. It must be a delayed bomb, since two trucks have run over it, and it hasn't blown up. *
1:58 - Dogs go nuts. It's some guy trying to sell me coupons, like if I buy a booklet of 20 for some DC nightclub, the cover charge is waived, and the coupons get me 5 drinks or something... I stopped listening when he showed me the booklet because a: I don't go to DC nightclubs, and b: this was an old scam they used to pull on employees at Springfield Mall. When I ask if I can call the nightclub directly to verify the authenticity of the coupons, he starts a story about distributors and the club employees who answer might not be aware... whatever, dude. Buh-bye.
2:15 - I suddenly lose Internet access. I go nuts. Dogs remarkably unfazed. I look at my Linux gateway, and it picked up the IP 192.168.100.1... WTF? I do an nmap scan, find port 80 open. It's a Motorola Surfboard setup page. DHCP is ON. I check the IP, because I don't think MY Surfboard gives IP. Sure enough, MAC addresses don't match (thank you, Motorola, for putting the MAC on a sticker on the outside). CRAP. Some asshat has a rogue DHCP server, probably a router plugged in backwards, on my cable subnet! I go around the setup page, learn a LOT about the router, everything is set to defaults, but there no, "Turn off DHCP" button. Fucktards! GRRRRRR!!!
2:16 - I find a lot of dirty plates and a lot of missing spoons while working with the cable modem. The dogs seem excited only because I seem to be speaking to them. They sniff the spoons, but do not go nuts.
2:28 - Dogs go nuts. Mormons. I told them normally I'd invite them in, but my house is a mess, and I am supposed to be working if my Internet access comes back. I offer them sodas, but sadly, all I have is caffinated stuff (Mormons don't drink caffeine).
2:40 - Dogs go nuts. Who is it n-- oh, my son home from school.
2:50 - Still no Internet access. Gateway still on 192.168.100.1. I hit "reset to factory defaults" on webpage, hoping that reboots the rogue router long enough so Cox can give me back real IP. I note my IP is .11, which means at least 11 hosts have been picked up by the DHCP. Nmap shows they go up to 32, which is the max the router allows (according to the setup page).
3:00 - I get real IP from Cox. I have Internet again. But for how long?
* [stories noted with an asterisk may have been embellished a little]