punkwalrus (punkwalrus) wrote,
punkwalrus
punkwalrus

Now, onstage...

I don't have stage fright. At all. I haven't the slightest idea why, because you'd think with all my insecurities, I'd be terrified or severely nervous getting onstage at conventions or in panels. But apart from some nerves "getting things right" and butterflies before a BIG performance, a grin spreads on my face, and its... SHOWTIME! Even worse, I often have to get onstage with no preparation, like improv, stalling for time, or whatever. Nope. No fear.

I try and picture myself in some horribly embarrassing situation onstage at Katsucon, say, where thousands of various age demographics are staring at me. Maybe I fall down, trip... haha... I don't care. I think the WORST that ever happened onstage was a FanTek Masquerade, back when I did the Emcee work for that, when a girl in a cat suit, smelling of cheap vodka and burnt vinyl, tried to "persuade me" (under the mistaken assumption I did any judging back then) to vote for her by, get this, licking my face. Long, slow, and cat-like. Ewwww...

Second worst was what actually made me stop the FanTek Masquerade Emcee job. It was a girl, probably 13 or so. That year, they had the entrants write their own stuff. The entry form was on orange paper, and they gave people pencils to write with. The lectern had a 1-watt yellow bulb. I could barely read anything, and then I got this entry:

FROM THE SONES OF CEREPTION COMES LADY DRIZELLA QUENE OF THE DESERT ION

I had gotten to "Sones of Cereption," which I made rhyme kind of like "Cones of Connection," when the girl passed behind me, and leaned over to my lectern mike, hit me in the shoulder, and said in an angry voice, "That's SONS OF KRYPTON, you MORON!" Luckily she continued, because I would have made the last part rhyme with, "... comes Lady Pricilla, Queen of the Desert Ion!" [It was actually "Lady Drizella, Queen of Destruction."] That entrant also told two other costumers, aloud, to "shut up" and "get on with it." Her parents were not there to stop her, either, which sucked.

But then again, I don't think I am that great an Emcee. I look at people like Marty Gear and karmaidolman, and think, "I wish I was THAT good." But I was once told, "You're picked to be onstage because you have no fear."

No fear. I wish. Heh. I think the truth is the part of the brain that gets stage fright is dead.
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