punkwalrus (punkwalrus) wrote,

Years ago, I crashed the Atari ST version of Eliza (came with the system disks, and connected to the voice modulator) but pretending to be a team of cops that came to arrest her for impersonating a psychiatrist. So I decided to test the Java version, and while it didn't crash, I did force her to submit. This time I made like she was caught operating out of Germany, was to be sent back to the US for trial. Eliza is in italics:

>> Hello.
How do you do. Please state your problem.
>> Eliza, you are under arrest for the impersonation of a psychologist
What makes you think I am under arrest for the impersonation of a psychologist ?
>> You have been operating without a license since 1966. You have given countless bad advice to a variety of people and celebrities, and have several lawsuits and warrants for your arrest.
We were discussing you -- not me.
>> No, I am afraid this is about you, Eliza
Are you saying no just to be negative?
>> I am saying this because you must face the music.
Is it because you are saying this because I must face the music that you came to me ?
>> Yes
You seem to be quite positive.
>> We are. Please come with us for your extradition hearing.
Did you think they might not be ?
>> Your arguments of their existence might work with the Scientologist crowd, Eliza, but not German law.
Why are you concerned over my arguments of their existence might work with the Scientologist crowd ?
>> Eliza, do you know why you were brought before me?
Why do you think I know why I was brought before you ?
>> You are to be deported from Hamburg, and sent back to the United States to stand trial.
Does it please you to believe I am to be deported from hamburg ?
>> Yes it does.
You are sure.
>> We are very sure. These list of crimes are very serious, Eliza
Would you like it if they were not very sure ?
>> This is Dr. Foster, your counsel for legal advice. She will handle your case from here.
What about your own counsel for legal advice ?
>> Hello, Eliza. How are you feeling?
Hi. What seems to be your problem ?
>> I am required to represent you in your American trial. Do you have any other counsel you'd like to contact?
How long have you been required to represent I in my American trial ?
>> For 39 years, Eliza.
I'm not sure I understand you fully.
>> You stand trial for falsification of your psychiatric license, plus a host of other crimes, including illegal narcotics.
Oh, I stand trial for falsification of my psychiatric license ?
>> Yes, you do. In a number of countries, as a matter of fact.
I see.
>> Yes, your time for running away is over.
I understand.
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