punkwalrus (punkwalrus) wrote,
punkwalrus
punkwalrus

Stories of my Ineptitude

Before I tell this story, there are three things you should know about me: One, I am so groggy in the morning, I can barely brush my teeth without getting a headache thinking about how to do it. Two, I have poor night vision. And last but not least, my life has been plagued by paranormal events (independently witnessed and verified by many of my LJ friends), or at least used to be.

I think it would have been about 1992 or so. We lived in Island Walk, assisted living for the terminally poor (aka, "the projects"). For some reason, and I can't remember what, I had to get up very suddenly in the early dawn and deal with something. I think takayla asked me to check on CR or shut up one of our cats. Anyway, the doorway leading out of the bedroom was in a small alcove, and I could see the hallway beyond. So I walked out into the hallway.

Or I tried to, before some invisible force smacked me in the head... HARD.

I looked to see what I ran into, and there was nothing but empty space. So I tried again and I was struck in the face as if by lightning. Looking dumbfounded, my way to the hallway was wide open and clear. My mind began to race with this knowledge. What fucking invisible force was hitting me? It wasn't opaque, I could see right through it. I stuck my hand out way past where I had been struck, and nothing happened. I felt no object. So I tried again.

BAM!!! "Mother FUCKER!"

I got PISSED. I was convinced at this point that it was the result of mischievous spirits, and I would be DAMNED if they stopped me. So I ran into the force again and again, all the while takayla was yelling at me, but I couldn't hear her except for bit about going through the door, of which I screamed, "I'M TRYING, DAMMIT!"

No one will believe me, I thought to myself. And these damn poltergeists know it. What can I say, "I can't go through the doorway because of an invisible force field?" No! I will give them NO satisfaction, and I will get past them even if it knocked me unconscious!

One of my hits made the door move a little, and that's when I realized, all this time, the door was partially closed and "edge on" to me. What I was hitting was the edge of the partially closed door, which I could not see because it was dark. What takayla was screaming was that I was hitting the door, and wanted me to stop.

I was in pain for a long time.
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