First, work was hell, and it wasn't my company giving it to me, I mean they appreciated all I did, but it was stressful as hell. The week before, one of our main servers, a CPOS (Compaq Piece of S---) Pro-Unrelaint started dying. We originally had 12 or so of these, but over the years, they all died pretty much the same deaths: memory errors, mysteriously powering down and not coming back up unless they had been off for 30 minutes to "cool down," and so on. Well, the original 12 was down to 4, and now 3. We have used the parts of the dead ones to keep the other ones alive all these years. They were built so poorly: the heat spreader for the CPU is held in place by a huge piece of foam (as in heat-insulating), and the only part not covered by foam is the part IN FRONT OF THE RAM. I could go on about how they have poor airflow and all that, but the end result of this crap is that I, in my "m4d customer service skillz," was assigned the main contact point. Because I am telling you, some companies are abusive. Even when shit is their fault. One is a huge name Auto-Mall, another is an entire cable channel. Their poor programming done by long-since gone developers now doesn't work on updated machines, and ... they use this excuse to try and get discounts. And I had to be the one to tell them, nay, PROVE to them that it is THEIR code that is busted. In many cases, we caught them when their code NEVER worked, even on the old hardware. I was watching lies go back and forth, and wow... some people are slime. And I had to endure abuse by them because our other two admins were working like dogs to get things to work. We went above and beyond the call multiple times, even showing a "senior developer" for the auto mall how to send mail from a form. Basic web stuff. And he told his bosses that he figured it out "in spite of us, but don't tell them." Gaaaaaaah!
Is it me, or when you are told you will have to work with developers who are "a father-son team," your confidence throws up in your mouth a little? Maybe it's just me.
So this whole week sucked. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and die. At least work was nice to me about it, thanking me, supporting me, and so on. I had forgotten what that felt like for a while there...
So, this morning, the remote is missing, my last goldfish died, and I tore my thumbnail off (I am holding it in place with duct tape) and my hand hurts like a motherfucker. And I have to clean for tonight's party, the carpet smells like ass, and clean up the kitchen and everything. I shouldn't be typing this entry, but I need a break from the ass-fog near the floor.
And battling seasonal depression.
I don't deserve fish, apparently. I can't keep them alive. I used to be so good at it as a kid. Fuck it. No more aquariums for me. I apologize for all the fish I killed trying to be a hobbyist again: I am going to spend time in hell for that, I am sure.
I am still glad I don't drink.