punkwalrus (punkwalrus) wrote,

Monkey Business

I skipped seeing "King Kong" today for several reasons: I don't like monkey/ape movies, I had housework to get done, and I just needed some alone time.

Yeah, I know, "King Kong" is "not a monkey movie." It's a love story about man's inhumanity in civilization. I saw the original with Harryhausen's stop motion, and I didn't care for it. It's a tragedy. I hate tragedies. And this film had one big monkey. Same with "Planet of the Apes," and while many people would tell me they are two totally different films, I *do* realize that, and they still have one theme: tragic monkeys.

I have seen and disliked a lot of great "ape" films: King Kong, Mighty Joe Young, Planet of the Apes (all 6), Any Which Way But Loose, and even stomached BJ and the Bear as well as Lancelot Link (my alternate title: "Dude, we made monkeys dressing in clothes eat spaghetti for TEN STRAIGHT MINUTES and FILMED IT ALL! Fuck, we RULE as animal trainers! Look at them GO!"). I didn't like any of them. I don't hate apes; I think they are so close to human, that it makes me uncomfortable. It reminds me of how much we suck as a human race. Like looking in a mirror.

I skip the Great Apes house at the zoo because I can see thinking eyes behind most of those brows. It's like they are in prison, but can't grasp why. I hate it when people see monkeys as entertainment, and objectify them like somehow they are better than those silly creatures who sling poo. Ha ha ha ... humans are so fucking civilized unlike that silly monkey.

Difference is, we throw fire.

True, King Kong is not about seeing the silly monkey dance... well, okay, it's not WRITTEN that way. I fully agree that it's probably a masterpiece of writing. But, and this is a rude awakening to many of fandom, most people saw that film to see the monkey smash stuff and fight dinosaurs. Peter Jackson probably got it right, like he got "Lord of the Rings" right, although keep in mind he IS the writer behind the puppet porn film, "Meet the Feebles" and the disturbing, but John waters-like sci-fi slasher, "Bad Taste". However, that whole Ann Darrow love story thing is probably some huge sexual innuendo to a lot of non-fandom people... oh, and seeing the guy from "Orange County" and "Saving Silverman." Maybe he'll make a bong joke.

And I decided long ago, if I was going to watch a film, it wouldn't be tragic. I have had enough tragedy in my real life, and have no need to see other's fictional tragedies. Tragic films always make me feel mad and unresolved.

Just like the future of primates.
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