punkwalrus (punkwalrus) wrote,

Men have ding dongs, women have hoo has.

So the other night, I was sort of forced to play the board game version of "Men Are from Mars: Women Are from Venus," for reasons I can only suspect was because I was wicked and bad in a past life. Three rounds of what I'd like to call, "Instant Spouse Fight in a Box," was my punishment; the person who brought the game boldly stated this game almost broke her marriage, which is as glowing review as the Spanish Inquisition is to Catholic Sunday School. Among the couples was one person who was recently divorced after a really bad marriage, so the air was singing with potential conflict and bitterness with the opposite sex.

To be fair, no one fought much. Couples I suspected would be difficult were pretty civil, given some of the questions.

The instructions were pretty confusing, and the questions were almost designed to start a fight. I could just imagine this sort of thing at the UN:
Russia: [reading from card] "This is a Campfire Category. The question is, 'Your leader has suspected a religious group of people own a majority of the wealth that agrees with the majority of the impoverished populace. Do you: A. Bring up a dialogue with some of the religious group leaders to discuss a solution of wealth distribution? B. Offer incentives to foreign investors in secular-based production rings? C. Exterminate the religious groups in death camps?"
Germany: Um. A.
England: Oh, PLEASE!
Germany: What?
England: You would SO put the people in death camps!
Germany: No I wouldn't! I never did th--
Russia: Oh ho ho ho... what-EVER!
Germany: Come on, you made that up!
England: Auschwitz? Hel-LO? Death Camps?
Germany: Wh-wh... you have no right to-- France, help me out!
France: Don't get me involved in this...
America: Germany, grow the fuck up.
Germany: Look here--
England: You are the worst liar!
America: You're just pissed you lost the war. Ring ring? Who's there? Hey Germany, denial is calling, shall I tell them you're not here?
Germany: You're all against me! Switzerland? Can I at least count on you? You were there.
Switzerland: ... ... no comment.
Italy: You guys are being unfair. Lay off Germany! That was a long time ago.
America: You and Japan can go bite me, Luigi!
Japan: What? Now it's my fault?

Anyway, the score was men 1, ladies 2.
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