punkwalrus (punkwalrus) wrote,
punkwalrus
punkwalrus

Writing "Between the Lines" - 38,197 words in 6 chapters

We have now entered new territory. I have stopped where I last stopped, ending a scene that was little more than notes and a hark back when the book was done in 1st person (oh, first draft in the year 2002 or so). I know when I go back to do my first edit, I am *still* going to find stuff where I said "my" or "I" when I should put Tony.

I have to be honest, the writing is a bit rough so far. I figure it will be rough and flabby the first write, and then I'll go back and firm it up. For those of you who like such things, I have a snippet behind the cut:


Koko and Tony walked through the spotlights quietly. You could hear the mall outside echoing in this huge indoor cavern: the people, the game parlour, and even the bad mall music. Beyond the spotlights, Tony could barely make out shapes, which might have been people, or furniture, or anything. Nothing moved, but Tony could swear they were being watched by hundreds of eyes, casually glancing at their movement like a lazy cat in the sun following the path of a distant windblown leaf.

When Tony and Koko got to the figure in the throne, Tony was a little bit less intimidated.

The "throne" was a lawn chair that had been covered with a black bedsheet. Behind the throne was another large cloth, badly affixed to the cement wall, creating drooping patterns where it had been crudely tacked. On each side of the throne was a young man, dressed in white faced makeup and a black peasant's shirt that was unlaced all the way down to their black pants. Each man was half-kneeled with one fist holding up their head above their knee. But the centerpiece to this bad romance novel cover was a woman who was nothing more than a bag of bones in a black 1920's era flapper dress. Her white face was accented with sparkly purple eye shadow and black lips. Her hair was cut short and clung to her face like a tightly fitting cape, with sharp curls pasted to her face. She was sitting in the lawn chair with one leg over the armrest, slowly sipping an orange smoothie from a long straw.

At first, she wasn't looking at Koko or Tony. She was staring at nothing off to one side. Misabel dropped to the floor and groveled. "Lady Sarcastia, I have brought the visitors."

Lady Sarcastia didn't move for a second, and then in a fluid movement, swung her leg back to the floor, sat up, and stared at the pair with a mixture of curiosity and amusement.

"Well well well..." she said. From her voice, Tony guessed she was probably older than 50. She leaned back in her chair, causing the cheap aluminum frame and nylon strapping to creak. "So this is Koko and...?"

"Tony Bumper," Tony said.

"Tony Bumper." She repeated, as if she was trying to decide what she thought of the name.

"Good Gravy!" said Koko, he perky voice shattering through the mortal dark like nails on a chalkboard. "We are a bit heavy on the gloomy decor, aren't we?"

Tony was sure that Misabel would leap from her crouched position and strangle Koko, but she stayed on the floor, unmoving. But Lady Sarcastia wasn't even phased. She had a strange air about her, a kind of royal and calm air of dark wisdom, with just a hint of smug amusement.
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 0 comments