punkwalrus (punkwalrus) wrote,
punkwalrus
punkwalrus

Happy Turkey Day!

"Eat me!" - Pugsley Addams, in Gary's Vision, "Addams Family Values"

Some random thoughts for today. First, I have learned two new terms that are fascinating recently: nocebo and hammerspace. Nocebo is when control subjects in an blind experiment, who are given a dummy pill, suffer adverse reactions like they were given the real thing. Hammerspace is a concept brought on by cartoons, where characters reach somewhere behind their back and produce objects like hammers, buckets, guns, and so on, seemingly out of nothing.

I watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. It's a family tradition where we both make fun of people and congratulate the clever.

The Today Show preceding the parade this morning would cut to the toll free desk of 1-800-BUTTERBALL (according to the banner behind them) during commercials. It looked like a strange telethon. I have this suspicion that 1-800-BUTTERBALL really goes to Bangladesh, but what to I know? I have always wanted to call and go, "Can I swim after eating leftovers without waiting 30 minutes?" or "I work for a testing lab, and I am firing this turkey at a jet plane windshield, and wondered if I should shoot it frozen or wait for it to thaw?"

Camp Broadway: apparently a "camp for kids who want to end up on Broadway," they did a rousing rendition of "Give Me a Drum." Not bad, and good to see some non-anorexic dancer-wannabes living out their mommie's dream. Not exactly professional; at least they had matching clothes and lip synced pretty well, even if they didn't quiet have it together for choreography. But what got me was the choice of words, "want to end up on Broadway," like it wasn't exactly a good thing. I'd be proud if my child "ended up" on Broadway.

Did I ever tell you was in a production of "Chorus Line?" All anyone has to do is say the word ONE loudly... and I think, "...singular sensation, every little step she takes!" Often I sing it aloud before I stop myself; like how American Dad found out gay people by starting the song, "Clang clang clang..." Man, I sucked at dancing and singing, and only did that because my drama camp didn't tell me there'd be singing and dancing when I signed up. Why, yes, I am still angry at that.

McDonald's now has gift cards? I can't think of any joke there, except to say it seems really tacky. I'm just sayin'.

They introduced someone as, "our Hispanic actress from Telemundo, part of our NBC family..." It was said like the Family Guy "our Asian Reporter Trisha Takanawa..." Like most of America would go, "Ooh, look, hon! A real Hispanic, like in the movies! Wow, she looks so REAL!"

Man, the "Dr. Suess, How the Grinch Stole Christmas" dancing cast looked like they were all wearing diapers. The dog is played by a guy dressed like a dog. This whole thing is so... "ghey." Why did someone make this a musical? It looks deplorable.

Why is Ace Hardware selling DVD players? Why is Linens-n-Things selling robotic dinosaurs? Yes, I am being rhetorical, but it's still kind of stupid.

Anyone notice Humpty Dumpty was ass-backwards? Like a proctology exam in slow-motion, butt-forward down the parade route.
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