punkwalrus (punkwalrus) wrote,
punkwalrus
punkwalrus

NEWS: Stay home today: the Lunar Eclipse made a mess of things

I think everything has gone mad due to the Lunar eclipse. So many weird things are happening today, if you're one of those people who attract weird things like me, you're best off unplugging your phone and hiding under the covers. Let's look at my morning so far:

  • I woke up, and somehow half my medications are soggy and crumbling. I have no idea how they got wet.
  • I have a huge pimple on my leg, and it hurts.
  • I got shampoo in my eyes.
  • I cut myself shaving.
  • My badge holder fell apart, scattering my work ID, Metro card, and RFID door pass key all over the house, necessitating a frantic search.
  • I got a ride to work with anyarm, and had to stop because I got a sudden attack of diarrhea, and Metro Rail does not have bathrooms (they never let you use them in Vienna; always citing security concerns)
  • I had to use a filthy men's room at an Exxon. It was small and cramped and had no coat hook. I put my coat over the sink, and it had an electric eye faucet, which started to soak my coat before yanked it out. The toilet was also electric-eye, but set too sensitive, so it flushed every 30 seconds while I used it.
  • My metro card doesn't work, I suspect because it got damp. Fine, it only had $4.90 on it. I try to use the farecard machines. They won't take either of my Credit Cards (error reading card). Vienna's farecard machines are REALLY picky, and frequently they won't read at least one of my cards. I managed to get $3.90 scraped up from loose change to at least get to work.
  • Somehow, my MP3 player had no charge. I charged it just Thursday. When I plugged it in at work, no charge. Charging now.
  • I get on the Metro, and I meet all sorts of weird people: a nasty frowning woman who looked like a frog of a child's cartoon of a witch, another woman who looked like a 1920s Vogue model (like Anne Darrow or Mary Pickford), and a bunch of teens with braided hair and what looked like Renaissance costumes and bunny ears arguing about iPods. I swear, I had to keep assuring myself I was not asleep and dreaming, because it sure seemed like I was the cafeteria on the Universal lot.
  • Metro is late. I am late enough because I had to take a critical toilet break, but now my stomach is sick again, and I desperately need to get to work to use the toilet there. The train just stops probably 20 yards from my end stop and sits there for 5 minutes while my stomach gurgles in pain. "We will be moving momentarily" the mumbled voice states over the Intercom.


Also, people seem to be complaining at work about crazy people on the road (I mean, much more than normal), so I suspect the world is undergoing a "market correction" of normality.

So stay at home, avoid using appliances, don't make any financial decisions, and stay under your covers.
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