punkwalrus (punkwalrus) wrote,

I feel better today

I got home at about 6 yesterday, jammed a few PBJ's in my mouth, and fell asleep by 7. Woke up a few times to pee, and at 5:30am, my back was KILLING me. I thought I would have to call in sick to work, but I took some Alieve, and I woke up with a lot less pain, and went to work.

The Red Line was a mess. Last night they closed Rockville due to a "suspicious package." This morning, Van Ness-UDC, Farragut North, and Dupont Circle closed down due to various issues, the most ominous is Dupont Circle had some smoke problems again. This is like the third time they have had smoke and/or a fire in that deep, deep underground station. Luckily, it's not on my route, but when one station goes down, it fucks up the whole line, even other lines on the system sometimes.

My back hurts, which has spread to my chest, but I can deal. It gets better when I stretch, so I think I really pulled my back while sleeping. How the hell? To add to the oddness, I had this weird dream...

So I had this weird dream, and the only part I can remember was I was watching some school-aged health film where they decided to use Kermit and Miss Piggy to describe masturbation to teens. It was sponsored by, get this, "Fruit Gushers" candy. Kermit did his little lecture about using lint-free tissues and hand lotion, and all you can see is him fapping under a blanket, describing the process in a disconnected and clinical way. I recall thinking, "This is really disturbing, who approved this use of licensed characters?" And that's when Miss Piggy comes in, and sees Kermit and sighs. But then she decides (via an obviously scripted moment) to use this moment to describe how girls can also pleasure themselves. "First, you use your hand..." she starts, and then pulls out a slab of bacon from under her dress. "I said 'hand,' not 'ham...!' Oh, very funny GUYS!" she shouts to the puppeteers below. I recall thinking that Disney had taken their liberties too far with the Henson characters, how much they had sold out, and now I had lost ALL respect for them (which isn't that great to begin with).

That's all I remember about the dream. I hope that film never gets made. Gross. So why am I still laughing about it? I am going to submit this to Slow Wave...
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