Recently, when asked what passive aggressive meant, I joked, “I won’t dignify that question with any response.”
I think Gatorade’s claim about electrolytes or whatever is a little suspect. I look at the ingredients of the one I am drinking now (“Orange”), and it says: water, sucrose syrup, high fructose corn syrup, citric acid, natural orange flavors and other natural flavors, salt, sodium citrate, monopotassium phosphate, yellow 6, glycerol ester of wood rosin, and bromiated vegetable oil. Really, what this boils down to is water, two kinds of sugars, a tartening agent, two salts, a wee bit of orange juice, two preservatives, an emulsifier, a substance to prevent the oils from coagulating, and a dye. The “carbs” and “electrolytes” is in the form or sugar and salt. Um. Okay. I could eat a maple donut with bacon from Voodoo Donuts in Portland and get the same thing. Or flavored and sweetened sea water (and if you don’t filter the plankton out, add a little protein as a booster). I guess “Dead Sea Soda” never caught on...
On that note, I am beginning to thing that diet sodas don’t help you lose weight, and may make the problem worse. I think there’s something about artificial sugar that screws up the body’s way to process sugars. I also think drinking caffinated beverages on a regular basis screws up your metabolism. But I lack a nutritional education to prove or debunk this theory.
I am also a little peeved you can’t get a diet caffeine-free soda in most restaurants. Diet soda is always a diet caffinated cola, not like “diet orange” or even “diet Sprite/7-Up.” The only option you have if you want a drink that is not full of HFCS or caffeine is hope they have fruit juice or water. Even then, the waiters look at you like you’re a cheapskate trying to personally chisel them out of the huge profit they make on selling you 3 cents of syrup, ice, and water for $1.25. “Really, sir? Just... water to drink? Okay... whatever...”
I can’t listen to L.A. Style’s techno hit, “James Brown Is Dead,” without feeling sad now.