punkwalrus (punkwalrus) wrote,

Making up for Lost Childhoods: Trick or Treating

As a kid, my father didn't want to give out treats. He hated kids, and called them "moochers of bad parents." After 2-3 years of having out house egged and TP'd, my mother overruled this and that year we gave out Zebra fruit stripe gum, some of which I consumed while handing out candy, and I got in a lot of trouble. So then she thought, "Why give these kids candy?" and we gave out spider rings for the next 7 years. Plastic, cheap spider rings. Came in a bag of 200 and they were orange or black, and we never finished the original bag. Kids HATED us, but we only got egged one more year.

Needless to say, I wasn't allowed to go Trick or Treating. My mother made costumes and such for school, but I think I went out only once as a small kid. I was the guy they put by the door so *I* had to face the strange looks and cries of, "Aw, it's this house again, that's crummy!" and "spider rings again? What a gyp!"

As a teenager, I bemoaned this fact, and after hearing, "Oh, your house is the one that gives out the spider rings? Gaaah..." a few of us realized that as kids, we never got to go out. My reason was rather unique, but the other teens spent time overseas during those years. So a bunch of us decided we were going to go out as teenagers. And why not? A few of us were afraid someone would stop us, but we did it anyway in our Sophomore year.

The group I recall the best was eeedge, wombat1138, Kate, myself, Jason, and Mark. Kate, Jason, and Mark were overseas as kids, while eeedge and wombat1138 had parents most of us considered to be overbearing and too strict (sorry... especially your family, eeedge... probably we went overboard with that... sorry). Here are some things we discovered:

- Kate and eeedge's neighborhood gave the best candy
- Not one parent questioned us or mentioned how old we were. One or two have have given us a suspicious eye, but never withheld candy.
- As a teenager, you can cover a LOT of houses in shorter time and stay out later than kids with their stubby legs and dragging adults who just want to go home already!
- A pillowcase stuffed so full of candy that it will not close at the top weighs as much as a small child (or at least Kate's niece Emma).

The best memories I have of the time is pouring out our candy in a huge pile in Kate's bedroom, sorting and doling out the goods. Some of us liked the hard caramels, while others had braces or couldn't have nuts. In the end, we gave the candy we all didn't like to Kate's niece and nephew, Emma and TJ (who, shit, must be in their mid-late 20s now...). We did this every year until we graduated.

Bad memories included my mother handing out candy so blasted, she couldn't stand straight and kept losing count; "Lesh see... there.... are... 1... 2... 3... 4... ... 5... 6... 7... 10...?" ("No, mama, there's just four of us...") There was also a pickup truck full of jocks who were jumping out and stealing candy from kids. I saw one of them swarm a group of little kids and push down a soccer mom into a tree just to steal all the candy. What assholes. They also jumped me one year, but I managed to fend them off with a large walking stick I had with me.

Later on, when I was grown with a kid of my own, as a dare to myself, *I* went trick or treating with my son as a participant rather than a bored adult. And again, nobody seemed to question why I asked for candy (although, I had this speech about collecting for a child who was sick today - I never had to use it). I only did that once though, to prove a point to myself that no one really cares. I suggest you adults try it next year! :)
Tags: candy, childhood, halloween, trickortreating
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