punkwalrus (punkwalrus) wrote,

I am so sorry to say this...

Ringo? I know you're a former Beatle and all. One of the last surviving two. And I know you've been through some tough times, made some bad career moves, got addicted to a lot of bad things, but you are still hanging on. You're a survivor. And that's good, because you're one of the most charming of the original fab four.

But your singing sucks. It has always sucked. It sucked in the 1960s, and the 21st century hasn't changed anything. Someone has to tell you. Maybe you sing to entertain yourself, and that's cool; it's your right as a human being. My singing isn't much better, but the key difference is that I don't make albums of it.

Recently, someone at Borders books was handing out a promotional CD. On it was some really great music starts for 2008. Miley Cyrus, Bens Brother, Sheryl Crow, Gwen Stefani, and even Janet Jackson. But your title cut from "Liverpool 8," you just released... is just terrible. On top of that, you have to mention in the song, again, you're a former Beatle. See, we know that. But none of the other former blokes from Liverpool mention it in their music, except maybe Harrison when he had the song "When We Was Fab," from the Cloud 9 album in the 1980s, and that was a B-cut at best. Lennon left in 1970, and the Beatles have never been together ever since. They aren't coming back. And to be honest, you are just one step above Pete Best, who actually released an album in 1996 called, "Once a Beatle, Always a Beatle."

Look, just stick to drumming. Or maybe take some lessons in something else. You still got a few miles left in you. Just don't spend your declining years going down the wrong road.

You have to be cruel to be kind.

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