I am a shmuck compared to most of the staff who works really hard. Most of my job this con was Opening Ceremonies and helping in the Staff Suite for two shifts (evening, 8pm - 2am) with cheezy_reads, so I am not really very important. But I pulled off a kick ass Opening Ceremonies, which was really helped by Christian and Trish, the guest liaisons. They had a script and everything. And my job was made MUCH easier by aksident, who not only helped me for 8 hours Friday, but helped out the Staff Suite as well for another 14 hours. She kicked ass. She was the blond girl who hung around me and CR, and probably pumped out hand sanitizer for those who ate staff lunches and dinners. We called that position, “Squirtle,” after the Pokemon, and it sounded slightly naughty.
We arrived at the hotel Thursday afternoon, and takayla never got a chance to leave the suite all weekend. This was the first year lohquesse ran Staff Suite as official head, and she did a great job. We gave her a bottle of Bailey’s Mint as a thank you (I suggested flowers, but takayla thought liquor would be more appreciated, and she was right). I helped a little with setup that night. Then I got a good night’s sleep.
I woke up around 9:30, showered, and then met aksident for our day’s work. We had to wrangle up all the people who needed to have a presentation for Opening Ceremonies. It went very smoothly, and having an assistant was a great help. Sadly, some people wondered “who is that blond girl with Punkie?” and rumors got started because, well, she’s kind of growing up and out, as it were. That was awkward, and I must admit, I was starting to get a little tired of the jokes. I didn’t have a good comeback, because since she’s only 13, you can’t exactly have some kind of zing-comeback of an equally inappropriate nature.
Someone: Oh I see, she’s your “assistant,” wink wink. I bet you do a lot of “private sessions” wink wink.
Aksident: [poker face] I’d kill him.
Me: She’s 13, you ass.
I think I got offended for several reasons:
- I have known her so long, she’s like a daughter to me. I don’t find incest funny.
- Her dad has entrusted her to me, something I take very seriously. So I tend to be protective of her, and any thought of someone, especially an adult, taking advantage of her sexually really makes me want to punch people in the face until I hear bones breaking.
- Making an accusation that she’s so innocent and naive that just any adult coming along she’d sleep with is sexist and deeply insulting to her intelligence. Just because she’s young, blond, and busty does not mean her vagina has a welcome mat on it.
- I was sexually molested when I was 8. So I’m a little personally upset about the concept of having sex with the underaged.
Of course, it was probably the fact I was taking it too seriously. After all, only a few people made these jokes. I just got so jarred by those flippant comments, I couldn’t think of something clever and polite to respond. I just got pissed off. I couldn’t be all, “Ha ha, old enough to bleed, old enough to breed,” West Virginia joking, because really, in front of a young teen, that’;s a little disturbing and inappropriate. But I didn’t really want to overreact and respond, “If you believe that I am having sex with an underaged girl whom I am trying to teach her positive aspects in fandom, I suggest we go outside and I promise to convince you otherwise by crippling you for life, starting with your loud mouth and fat head, you perv.”
I always said I’d never kill someone that hurt her. I’d just break their legs so her dad could finish the job.
So I just said something dumb that they never even registered, like “She’s 13, you ass,” got a response like, “Woah... you start young, haw haw haw...” I couldn’t win. The more you deny something like that, the more you look guilty of it. But this is more my problem, and I have to plan for this in the future, I guess. I am a little ashamed I am so uncomfortable with this, but I guess this just exposes my naivete in these kinds of realms, and then I look like a fool. And all I could tell her was, “Well... it’s obvious some people can’t see past their own perversions."
But aside from all that, I would have her as my assistant again. I felt guilty because she’s so hard working that I think she’d be better in a more serious department, since I really only needed her for Friday. It was kind of funny, we were having this discussion about being a guest liaison, a job I wouldnt really like. Aksident said, ”I could totally do that job. I wouldn’t let them push me around, I’d tell them to shut up and do what they were told.“ I said, ”Ha ha... little do you know...“ and then Christian later said, ”After this con, no more. I am going to start telling guests to shut up and do what they are told,“ and Aksident said, ”SEE???“ I lose. :) But maybe guests could use her... if only some of them didn’t worry me around a young and nubile young girl... heh. Now who has the dirty mind, Punkie?
Opening Ceremonies kicked ass. Best I have ever done. I pumped up the crowd, the guests were awesome, Christian and Trish kept the guests in line, Keith was awesome, and the only disappointment I had was my tentacle arm did not get the laughs I wanted. We were only 8 minutes late, and we finished with 1 minute to spare. Holy cow, that’s a FIRST!
I never got asked to do anything with AMV this year. They got the AMVs to us too late, and we didn’t have time to gather and judge them (usually we have months in advance, this time we didn’t get the DVD until 2 weeks before the con). But I heard they rocked anyway.
The rest of the con, I was either hanging out in the Staff Suite, or working it. I really only went into the Merchant’s room a few times, and only got Jap snax. Everything else they sold was either stuff I had, didn’t want, wouldn’t pay that much for, or didn’t need. I spent $30 the whole con on merchandise, a new low for me in the last 10 years or more. I did not go to the dance either night because
The best part of the con for me, though, was hanging out with CR, Aksident, and Eugene (CR’s friend). All three opened up to me with their problems, and listened to advice. They also had very, very good insight and advice on other things. Stuff I so desperately needed to hear. Aksident had dating advice for CR, and I trust her ideas more because she’s kind of a popular girl at school, and while she’s younger than CR, she’s not only closer to his generation, but... let’s face it, I have hung out with girl nerds since I was 12. I have a very slanted hyper-intelligent, socially stunted view of how girls see things.
The rest of the con was the usual hanging out with friends, good cheer, and naughty jokes involving sheep. stodgycat dressed as Cardinal Rapture, which panned out very well for him. I completely missed seeing daecabhir somehow. We were supposed to hang out and discuss Balticon. [Edit: I have since read his journal and found out he wasn't there. Ha ha, I should have said, "I had this long discussion with Greg about his plans to move Balticon to Reston," or something REALLY inflammatory, and then *insist* it was him when he denies it.]
The staff party at Hard Rock was awesome as always. I kind of wished takayla got some recognition and a glass plaque, but there you go. Next year’s Katsucon is going to be back at the Crystal City Hyatt, which I don’t know HOW we’re going to fit in there. I wonder if we’re still going to the Hard Rock afterwards?