punkwalrus (punkwalrus) wrote,
punkwalrus
punkwalrus

New Orleans - Day 3 - Part1

Last night I endured a 5 hour sales awards banquet filled with people I didn't know from any other random stranger in a crowd. Tattoos are really becoming mainstream; I think nearly a third of the women with evening gowns had some ink on them (mainly the upper back, left arm, and ankles), but then again, the crowd I was with were a little off the beaten path. But while I think a majority of the women there were the "type" that one might consider "likely to sell dildos and lingerie," there were some who looked like grandma from Wisconsin. Not that grandma doesn't need some time away from baking cookies to have some alone time with her battery-operated friend, but... it shocked me how MUCH money these grannies made.

Most of the girls were somewhere between their mid 20s and early 40s. I sat at a table with two other husbands who looked so out of place. One of them was a dead ringer for SNL Weekend Update character "Tim Calhoun" (played by Will Forte). I kept doing his voice, and making takayla giggle. Both husbands looked like the football type, and half the table got uncomfortable when we openly discussed tarot and Reiki with a new friend from JMU, Rachel. She's only 22 and one of the top sellers from her region. Rachel sells to college girls, and regaled us with tales of shocking ignorance among college girls regarding their own body. "Many don't even know what it looks like down there," she said. That is very sad.

About two hours into the awards, I got a sudden cluster of migraines, but I stayed it out for another 3 hours. Let me tell you, I thought I had a good handle on migraines until all I have to deal with them was boredom. I thought I was in hell. Like being in some kind of sensory deprivation tank with my migraines, I endured typical sales awards rigmarole, trying desperately to find something to occupy my mind while the roaring of obligatory applause blasted into my ears like a random firehose. I actually started to hallucinate geometric patterns. I sent text messages to several people just to think of something, anything, that wasn't mind-shatteringly dull and boring. Five hours. My head. Ow.

The rest of the evening was a blur. I remember boobs in there somewhere. 12 people got Chevy Trailblazers.

takayla dealt with my migraines with Reiki, which helped, but all I recall after that was we got room service, and it was too heavy and greasy. It made us both ill. We're not 19 any more.
Tags: boredom, new orleans
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