I am reading my book, when suddenly I hear a voice scrape across the air, "You know, other people don't want to hear your phone conversations." A quick glace showed a confrontation between two men. The man on the phone looked like a distinguished businessman with a very low voice; so low, I didn't even register he was on the phone even though he was maybe 3 feet away from me or less. That's the Metro for you. But sitting in a seat a foot away was the kind of guy you just want to punch on principle. An older guy with a bike helmet, a "Northern Face" jacket, shorts, and a messenger bag. But it wasn't how he looked that bothered me, but his patronizing tone to the businessman standing up in front of him.
The business man said something which sounded like a gracious apology, but the older man just kept talking like he was condemning an errant teenager who just said the F-bomb in front of his small children. "A lot of people have to share the Metro, you can make that call at some later time." I wanted to stand up and go, "What the FUCK? How would YOU know? He can use his damn phone all he likes, and I wasn't even aware he was talking until your irritating anal-control voice slithered into my ear like oily barbed wire." But I didn't. I am not sure what the man said next, because again, he had a quiet, low voice. But the old guy kept shaking his head, "No. NO. You can make that call outside the Metro. Now hang up that phone." The business man decided to do so rather than fight, but the old guy lectured him for another minute or so. It took me a while to calm down in sympathy. What a prick!
Then a little later, another guy started hassling this young woman sitting next to him. "Move your pointy elbows!" he said. The way he was sitting was seriously encroaching into her space because he had a rolling suitcase, a duffel bag, and was holding onto all of it instead of keeping it on the floor. The woman said something back, and his response sounded like, "Well, some of us weren't born rich and privileged." Finally, he moved to an empty seat, but when he made eye contact with me he shook his head and said, "Women can be so self-centered."
Yeah, so can asshats with luggage.
Then there was a really bratty private school kid with possibly his older sister. I see a lot of private school kids on the Red Line, and many of them are rambunctious and rude. In this case, the younger kid who looked about 7 or 8 was climbing all over the seats while he teenager sister was yelling at him to stop. All he did was mock her, laugh, and generally act monkey-like in his taunting. Finally, one of her attempts to grab him worked, and she pulled him across the seat, pulled down his pants, and spanked the hell out of him. The kid just said, "Oh yeah. Uh huh. I like dat! Smack my ass!" Her blows were weak and ineffective, and finally the kid wiggled away, even more hyper. He started doing a dance out of her reach, and then started jumping on the seats. Not two seconds after I thought, "God's going to take care of this one," the kid slipped and fell ON HIS THROAT over a handlebar on the back of the seat.
His tune changed quickly. He started to cough and then cry. His sister came over to look at him, but he jerked away, gasping. Then they got off at Fort Totten, so I am not sure how badly he was hurt. But as they left, she was saying, "I told you not to do that. I told you you'd get hurt, but you're such a stupid ass you don't even listen to anything!"