punkwalrus (punkwalrus) wrote,
punkwalrus
punkwalrus

Truly bad grammar

I just thought of this random story I often have to retell, and so I am making an entry for posterity's sake.

I used to work at the (late) Cargo Furniture, and the district manager for the South was a spry older woman who used to be a former kindergarten teacher. Her name was Joan. Now, personally, I never had an issue with the woman except for her incessant memos. We used to get packets every week from the home office, and once in a while, this woman would have some happy-wappy announcement of some sort, usually having to do with sales contests.

This woman, despite her educational background, was a terrible, terrible writer. Her memos were frequently misspelled, she used a lot of ALL CAPS, extra punctuation, and was the queen of misplaced apostrophes. Here's an example from memory about a sales contest to Cancun, Mexico:

ATENTION ALL SALE'S STAFF

Are recent quota contest, is running in FULL GEAR!!! Halfway there, and already we have some AMAZING QUOTABUSTER'S!! Stephane of the Florida otlet is 20%%%% OVER HER AVERAGE QUOTA!!!!! Can YOU beat her score's????? Grig of Springfield in Verginia is 15%%%%%!!!!! There combined score's have rocketed the Estern region over 17%%%!!!

I see sunny sky's, and margarita's in there future!!!


Yeah, it hurts the eyes, doesn't it?
Tags: cargo, grammar, work
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