punkwalrus (punkwalrus) wrote,
punkwalrus
punkwalrus

I can't order coffee

I am Starbucks-lexic. My brain can't retain words from Starbucks menus for more than a few seconds. It's the same black hole sports terms go and it's as annoying as heck.

The first problem is the tall-grande-venti-hula-moogoogaipan size scheme. Total nonsense. I'd like a small, medium, large, and Big Gulp. Then they have latte, cafe, espresso, americano, macchiato, and mocha-hou-hou.

I can't order "a large vanilla iced coffee," because believe me, I have tried! I get a response that sounds like mock Italian.

"You want an ice minty mecka-lekka hai mecka hini ho?"

"Sure..." and then I get a shoe with cheese on it.

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Tags: coffee, starbuck
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