Mom: [sing song, like you do with small children] Greeeeeeegoreeeee... time to get uuuup...
Me: I am up.
Mom: Time to go to schooool....
Me: No it's not, it's 7pm on a Saturday.
Mom: No it's noooottt...
Me: Yes, it is. It's dark outside.
Mom: [pause] No.
Mom: No. NO! You better... go and then go to see... you better go, Mister!
Me: It's night time. On a weekend!
Mom: Awwww... don't tell me... you... if you don't go. You will GET.... NO! No go and then I'll... you'll see! It won't!
Me: [says nothing]
Mom: ANSWER ME!
Me: Answer what?
Mom: You need... I'll tell your father and you'll see what I can go, and then you won't know what... you don't want that!
Me: Don't want what?
Mom: Yeah! That's what I thought... you get your coat!
Me: It's Saturday. There IS NO SCHOOL! Go back to bed!
Mom: You can't tell... the school won't get ANY and you'll be punished. PUNISHED! Don't be silllyyy..... Get any? No!
Me: Get any what?
And so on. Not answering her caused her to scream and come downstairs to yell at me, which would have been bad if she passed out ON the stairs. When she passed out, there was no moving her. You just kind of walked around her, or hoped you could wake her up enough to help you drag her to bed. Usually, though, she would abruptly end her nonsense conversation and go to bed on her own. Later, she would not recall the conversation at all.
This would be bad when my father was there, because he'd be furious and sometimes took it out on me (usually by yelling at me for a while about how if I got good grades, she wouldn't need to drink). I rarely brought friends over after the age of 12, it was simply too unpredictable.
Sadly, as a teen, I brought my friends over during trick or treating. wombat1138 and eeedge might remember that night when my mother didn't know who we were, and counted just the four of us (including Kate) three times... eeedge stopped her at 12.
I think about this every Halloween. :(