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23 December 2008 @ 08:53 pm
The Star Wars Christmas Special  
Like many of my generation, I saw it live in 1977, and in the early 1990s, I was one of the people on Usenet purporting it did really happen at one time, no it wasn't our imagination. Not many of us could recall much except for the Wookie family, a Boba Fett cartoon, and some musical acts. There was one certainty I could remember:

Even at age 9, I realized this was a terrible, terrible show.

A few years ago, I saw some clips on Youtube, and eventually got a copy from the Gnutella network. It was then, watching a show so terrible it made my eyes hurt, I realized that I cannot watch this show from beginning to end. I simply cannot stomach it. Recently, I got a copy with Rifftrax (please donate) synced with it. I... I couldn't make it past Luke Skywalker and his massive pancake makeup.

This show is not "so bad it's funny." I can't make up my mind why it doesn't make it to "Plan Nine from Outer Space" status. Maybe it's so far into the camp it's shot past camp into the lake. Or maybe it's not camp enough. I can't make up my mind it's so bad it can't be funny or not bad enough to be funny. It's a combination of the terrible writing, bad editing, horrible acting, and misplaced variety acts that made an aggregate that simply cannot coalesce into any definable form. It's part Rocky Horror, part Sonny and Cher Show, and part Family Circus humor with a Star Wars front that barely passes as anything relevant. The sci-fi influences are almost peppered on like some unwanted spice to an already dismal stew. There simply cannot be enough pot in the world to make this show watchable.

It was then I realized, "The Star Wars Christmas Special" is the video equivalent of "The Eye of Argon."
 
 
 
feyandstrange on December 24th, 2008 06:25 am (UTC)
I was in Europe, and thus I was spared the agony. I was one of the ones insisting that it could not have existed, or if it had, that it could not possibly have been so bad as all that, because come on, a Wookiee mime piece? Who would do that to children?

But I was also out of the country for the New Coke scandal, and thus I was convinced for months that someone had made it all up to make fun of the dumb kid who'd been in Africa. It wasn't until I found a six-pack of New Coke gathering dust at the Lake Anne grocery store that I believed. (I dragged mom over, and we stared like a bunch of yokels. To think that such a thing could exist!)

Kids these days have no idea what they're missing out on what with being able to instantly confirm or deny urban legends via the Internet.
Jesse: kermit cookie monsterruby_stevens on December 24th, 2008 06:30 am (UTC)
yeah I watched a bootleg expecting a laff riot, not expecting that it would open with a Miller play, performed in Wookie, with no subtitles, for 30 minutes. It is funny watching Carrie Fisher's eyes get more and more glazed the longer it goes on though.
DP Twisteddptwisted on December 24th, 2008 08:19 pm (UTC)
You musn't forget that they let Bea Arthur sing a song in that. Bea Arthur.
uurdalauurdala on December 24th, 2008 09:36 pm (UTC)
Funny You Should Mention It...
You see, in the Star Wars Galaxies MMO, this year, for "Life Day" most of the gifts come from that most dreadful of Christmas Specials.

Most noteworthy... the proton chair. Now having seen an elderly wookiee settle into this thing to be sung at by a strange human woman is kinda creepy... but to sit your character down in one of these things and hear "I am your fantasy...."

LOL...!