punkwalrus (punkwalrus) wrote,

The Star Wars Christmas Special

Like many of my generation, I saw it live in 1977, and in the early 1990s, I was one of the people on Usenet purporting it did really happen at one time, no it wasn't our imagination. Not many of us could recall much except for the Wookie family, a Boba Fett cartoon, and some musical acts. There was one certainty I could remember:

Even at age 9, I realized this was a terrible, terrible show.

A few years ago, I saw some clips on Youtube, and eventually got a copy from the Gnutella network. It was then, watching a show so terrible it made my eyes hurt, I realized that I cannot watch this show from beginning to end. I simply cannot stomach it. Recently, I got a copy with Rifftrax (please donate) synced with it. I... I couldn't make it past Luke Skywalker and his massive pancake makeup.

This show is not "so bad it's funny." I can't make up my mind why it doesn't make it to "Plan Nine from Outer Space" status. Maybe it's so far into the camp it's shot past camp into the lake. Or maybe it's not camp enough. I can't make up my mind it's so bad it can't be funny or not bad enough to be funny. It's a combination of the terrible writing, bad editing, horrible acting, and misplaced variety acts that made an aggregate that simply cannot coalesce into any definable form. It's part Rocky Horror, part Sonny and Cher Show, and part Family Circus humor with a Star Wars front that barely passes as anything relevant. The sci-fi influences are almost peppered on like some unwanted spice to an already dismal stew. There simply cannot be enough pot in the world to make this show watchable.

It was then I realized, "The Star Wars Christmas Special" is the video equivalent of "The Eye of Argon."
Tags: childhood, star wars
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