punkwalrus (punkwalrus) wrote,

It's a madhouse... a MAAAAD HOUSE!!!

I needed to do some final shopping for Christmas food. I knew it would be busy, but man. What a terrible chaos at the food store. Not like "post apocalypse" chaos, but more like if you took a bunch of mean people, gave them small children to take care of they didn't like, and hired extras from the Tower of Babel... that's what it was like.

It seemed everyone was going the opposite way down the aisle as I was. There were a lot of older people with fur coats who acted as if the rest of us weren't there. The worst were people who, when the forgot something, ditched their cart in the aisle and walked off, blocking everyone. I moved a lot of carts just to get down the aisles.

I kept running into this one family of rednecks. Three boys, one dad, all buzzcuts and bad teeth. They had an old cell phone, and were constantly calling some family matriarch and asking, "Whut? WHUT? No! They gots Gol Meddel flar! [Gold Medal Flour] I ain't seen no bret crumbs, why don't you jes' cremble bread, hon? Why we got to bah bread crumbs? A'ight, a'ight... stop hollarin'... tell mah-maw they ain't gots no bard over 20 paounds. I gots two smallar bards. Whut? WHAT? TWO SMALLAR BARDS! TARKEYS! No, TARKEY they don' make chikkins dat big, hon, you thankin TARKEY..."
Tags: christmas
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